Tag Archives: Via rail

The Art of Compromise

After an extremely long week at work I hopped on a late commuter train to spend a blissful weekend with my parents and our spoiled (but worth it) Pups.

Not surprisingly I was eagerly anticipating a frosty beer. Ok fine, on the train its luke cold at best. Regardless, beer was the reward at the end of a particularly dark tunnel.

As the Train Attendant (ummm… I’m not sure if that’s a thing) wheeled the cart towards me I prepared both my crispy ten dollar bill and my appetite to be whetted.

Turns out I was in for some disappointing news. Beer, as was requested, was sold out in all varieties. Let’s face it, if they had Coors Light left I’d still consider it sold out.

I sat and pouted for a bit but the lady eagerly offered me other options, to which I continued my pouting, until she landed on the magic backup option – brown liquor.

So here I sit, enjoying my Friday Compromise – a Scotch and Soda.

Happy Friday Everyone 🙂 and a belated Thanksgiving to my American friends.

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Filed under Events in Review, Funny Ha-Ha, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

False Advertising

Have you noticed the frequency with which things are described as “renaissance”, “vintage” or “antique” when they are really just worn out and old?

For example, I am currently riding the Canadian Rails to Ottawa on board a Via “Renaissance” train:

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Lovely modern seat right? I’m also fairly certain I’ve contracted some sort of Black Lung from the mildew on the accordion blinds. Not pictured: arm rests so worn out you can see inside the chair.

I guess I can see the charm in calling something Renaissance, instead of the “old model” though.

HOWEVER, what I completely don’t understand is using these terms in the wrong setting – say a lingerie store.

I was out purchasing some undies at lunch (not because I need them, but because I forgot to pack them) and I saw an ad in the store for “Neon Vintage Lace” bras. I’m sorry, what??

I’m pretty sure there is a limit on the amount of truly Vintage items available in neon. Also, what do they mean by “vintage lace”? Is it old lace? Would I want that on my bra? Or does it just look old? Who would want that either.

Clearly, I’m over analyzing – but it bugs me when people use a thesaurus just to avoid using accurate terms:

Renaissance Train = Shitty Old and Likely Pulled Back From Retirement

Neon Vintage Lace = Cheap Cotton in Various Shades of Pink

Premature Curmudgeon = Nancy Francis

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Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Negative Nancy, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Rhonda

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I’m currently en route to the Beautiful Thousand Islands aboard a VIA rail train, which is the perfect excuse to tell you about Rhonda.

Sometime earlier this year when Jillian and I were aboard a train bound for the same destination, we had a particularly irritating passenger seated directly behind us. She was a talker. Not only could she not keep her damn yap shut, she was actually making multiple work related phone calls all with the exact same message – and all executed at top volume through her shrill high pitched voice. It. Was. Torture.

The volume was irritating. Her voice was nauseating. The use of jargon was phenomenally aggravating. Her repeated conversation was mind numbing.

I stopped being quietly agitated and begun verbalizing my annoyance with her behaviour. Jillian and I were rolling our eyes and giggling everytime she picked up the phone and then I would launch into the entire conversation along with Rhonda – after awhile I had it down word for word. There is no way she didn’t hear us, but she clearly chose to ignore us and continue to intrude on the environment of everyone on board.

I understand that careers can be hectic and that commuting provides a valuable window of opportunity to get ahead – but there is a limit to what you should do on mass transit.

By the time Rhonda got off the train (in Trenton, I believe), Jillian and I had deduced that Sears Travel had been consumed by Thomas Cook Travel – a merger that was not yet public (not that anyone would give a toss). Obviously, Rhonda was having a busy day! From memory, this is what I recall from those damn phone calls:

* Hhhhhhii it’s RRHHonda!

* Are you sitting down?

* Did you dial into the webinar today?

* I’m having packets delivered on Monday, please ensure all employees receive a packet.

* I covered the information within the packet during the webinar, but we also had a deep dive session into best practices for the coming weeks

* Tell your staff not to worry, all question were answered in today’s Webinar and they will receiver their own packet shortly

* Its been a busy day and we are going to need all hands on deck next week

* I’ll circle back next week once you’ve reviewed the contents of the packet with your staff

Everytime I hear the word ‘packet’ now I want to shoot someone.

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