Tag Archives: Vertica Resident Services

Change Management

As our unusual family settles into its new home, a variety of growing pains are popping up for us to manage.  Nothing earth shattering, thankfully, just stuff that represents the learning curve present during a complete change in environment. 

Sound Effects – My room is situated directly below Korean’s room – which is definitely a win considering Tigger’s more prominent late night antics.  However, whenever he’s up and about in his room it honestly sounds like he is throwing boulders at the floor and chasing after them.  Kinda like the Gods are Bowling, but much less delicate.  Its very easy to confirm that he is actually just walking around like a normal human being, making no effort to stomp around like an elephant – but that’s what I’m hearing.  Luckily, it would take riot to wake me up so it’s really not an issue, just more of an observance and a WTF is going on up there? Oh, nothing.  I think this just boils down to me living in an apartment surrounded by concrete for so many years – you’re vaguely aware of the fact that you have people living above you, but you rarely if ever hear them

Neighbours – Love ‘em or hate ‘em, we’re here to stay so we might as well get used to them.  As mentioned previously, one group of our neighbours consists of a colourful and friendly crowd of dog lovers that congregate daily in front of our house to shoot the proverbial shit and allow their dogs to essentially do the same.  No problem there, I love the canine community we moved into.  However, these same neighbours had issue with a little merriment at our home on Saturday evening.  At 11:30.  No biggie, we moved everyone inside and to the back patio (where, coincidentally, we have really cool neighbours) and moved on.  What I wasn’t expecting was the Spanish Inquisition when Eleanor and I returned with our coffees the next morning.  How much apologizing is required when you’re a little loud at 11:30pm on a Weekend?  Next time they are all up on the street at 7am on a Sunday making a racket I’m going to give them a piece of my mind and tell them to bring it from a 10 to a 2.  Although, I’d probably have to set my alarm to wake up and see if they’re out there in the first place – not ideal.

Garbage Days – While I was originally lamenting the idea of having to sort our own garbage and drag it to the curb once a week, the reality is much less irritating then expected.  The biggest bonus is that our garbage, recycling and green bin are stored like two feet from the curb, so the dragging aspect is really irrelevant.  I do, however, think that the city should give you a few freebie days right after a move when you’re allowed to put out as much garbage and recycling as you have.  Oh well, 400 Walmer Road is serving as our dump these days.  Take that Vertica Resident Services.  One glorious thing that came from this week’s pick up is the discovery that one of our Garbage men is wildly attractive.  I think I’m going to conveniently be on my porch in a revealing outfit next Tuesday at 8:40am with a come hither look on my face.   With my luck though I’d get a whistle from his much older, much creepier partner.  A girl can dream though, can’t she?

Overall, the Good things about our New Home are amazing, and the Bad are just slightly irritating or unusual.  I think we picked a winner!

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Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Story Time

Vertica, You Suck

Vertica Resident ServicesI apologize in advance, this is a Rant.

I hate my Landlord.. or Property Manager, whatever the hell it’s called. I know my Mother taught me never to say ‘hate’, because it’s too strong a word, but to instead use ‘dislike intensely.’ Unfortunately, Mom, hate is the only word that really describes my feelings towards Vertica Resident Services.

While I love my actual apartment, the building itself is deteriorating around us – yet is marketed as a luxury rental. HA! Luxury, my ass. With elevators broken down more often than not, frequent and unexplained water disruptions, complete lack of climate control, 5 second delays on the sliding doors and customer service that is almost legendary in it’s failures, I’m surprised they manage to keep tenants around at all. Even when they attempt to maintain some level of communication, they totally miss the mark:

“We would like to notify you that there may be a Water Disruption on Monday June 27th, between the hours of 9am to 5pm, which may only affect either the Kitchen or Bathroom”

So let me get this straight, you are vaguely aware of a date that we may or may not have an issue with water? You’re also not sure if it is going to affect all building water, or maybe just in the Kitchen? Best part is that the water was off this morning in the entire apartment at 7am– which is Wednesday, not Monday.

The water thing doesn’t even scratch the surface of how poorly we’ve been treated by every single member of the office staff we have ever had the misfortune of dealing with (Lois, in particular, this rant is directed at you). Now that we are happily moving on to greener pastures, they have managed to find yet another way to royally piss me off – although this time, it’s within their legal rights. According to a Tenant’s rights, once you’ve given notice of termination of tenancy, your landlord has the right to show your premises without ANY warning or notice given. Fair play, I guess, since they never know when a perspective tenant will come to view an apartment. Not fair, however, is insisting on making these visits in the early morning hours on Saturdays. Is it necessary to ring the door bell four times in quick succession? Screw you Vertica.

In light of our leaving the facility in SEVENTEEN days, Tigger and I intend to put our best effort into showing Vertica the same courtesy they have shown us over the years:

Eff Off, Nasty Letter to Follow – We will continue to reply to all ‘Notification of Apartment Showing’s with thinly veiled hatred. Lois confirmed with me on the phone today that she had seen our recent ‘Nasty Letter’ that simply stated Tigger was working a late shift, and they were welcome to show the apartment, with the exception of one room – where he was sleeping. You think that’s Nasty? Ok Lois, we’ll actually aim for Nasty with the next reply.

Inappropriate Decorating – The Dildo/Butt Plug/Plastic Genitals/Whatever it is has been hanging out in the fridge for awhile, was on Eleanor’s door for a period of time, and now will be returned to a much more public area for viewing. Our ‘English Country Lads’ and ‘Treasure Chest’ books will be propped open on the coffee table. Tigger – where is that collection of old Porn VHS tapes you’ve been trying to get rid of?

Booby Trapping – What fun we could have with all of those empty boxes.

Garbage/Recycling – While we may be moving out in Seventeen days, Vertica was not willing to work with us on the date at all, so we are paying rent for the full month. Thankfully though, this means we have access to their garbage and recycling services during the very high debris period that follows a move. All of this, and any further refuse we can find, will be transferred back to Vertica for them to deal with.

Appointment Scheduling – As we are required to have a walk through of our apartment before they hand back our key deposit, I assume we can treat this appointment with the same reliability as all of our maintenance tasks have been handled over the years. I’ll just wait until they call after we don’t show up, and reschedule. I’m thinking three-four times should suffice.

All kidding aside, I’m truly just frustrated with the complete lack of respect with which Vertica employees treat their residents. 400 Walmer Road has a storied history in the city of Toronto, and was once an address to be proud of. Vertica Resident Services has trampled that reputation into the ground with the utter disdain and neglect evident in all their dealings. My Great Aunt Doll lived at 450 Walmer and had frequently voiced her desires to move south into the towers – I’m glad she didn’t have the opportunity, as it would have been a monumental let down.

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Filed under Negative Nancy