Tag Archives: Jillian

Not on our A Game

It was a busy Thursday night for Nancy!  I spent the first half of my evening with Depot, taking a few loads of stuff to her new apartment in Korean’s Silver wheels!  We felt quite productive and even had time to nip into Gabby’s for a well deserved cold beverage and a hot meal.  After that, I nipped up to Rosedale to collect Jillian who I was chauffering to St. Catharines – a mid point on her trip to join up with Mr. Moustache on the ‘seas’.

Normally, Jillian and Nancy on a Roadtrip absolutely reeks of Type-A over planning.  Schedules, maps, conversation topics, planned breaks – you get the drift.  Things started out as usual, made a pit stop for coffee and popped on the highway for our supposedly one and a quarter hour journey.  Jillian had some directions on her phone and we both had a faint idea of whereabouts St. Catharines actually was.

First sign of trouble ahead:

Jillian: “Umm.. what highway are we on?”

Nancy: “The 401!”

Jillian: “Ok, we should have gone South to the QEW.  Take the 427 when you get to it”

Nancy: “Umm, doesn’t the 401 just meet up with the QEW eventually?” (editors note: this is FALSE) 

Thankfully, I took Jillian’s lead and caught the 427 south to the QEW – we were back on track, whew!  We continue chattering away for the next 20 minutes or so, and then I follow Jillian’s instructions to jump on the 403 – off we go!!  Nothing seems amiss – yet – so we continue our never ending banter, and enjoy the remainder of our Starbucks treats.

As Jillian is playing around with her uber fun Mac (I’m currently obsessed with buying one), I notice one of those green highway signs that indicates the distance to the upcoming towns:




Curiously, no mention of St. Catharines. 

Nancy: “Umm… why isn’t St. Catharines listed as a destination on the highway sign.”

It’s a good thing I did notice that sign – as you can see from the maps below we were completely off course! Green indicating the direction we should have travelled, and red indicating our chosen course.

Its like the Bermuda Triangle - only not actually mysterious at all.


Talk about heading the Wrong Way!

In the end it took us just shy of two hours to get to our destination, and took me slightly more than half the time to get gas, drive back to Toronto and get in bed!  I guess even the most organized gals can have an off night!


Filed under Events in Review, Funny Ha-Ha, How Embarrassing, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Madam Saddam

I recently joined Jillian, Bella, Isabelle, Jasmine and several other friends in the Ontario Northlands for a spectacle known as a ‘Double Wedding’.  Two beautiful sisters marrying two strapping young men, in one beautiful summer afternoon of celebrations.. and libations.  Jillian has taken the lead on detailing this marvellous weekend, and many of the antics that occurred already.  One particular vignette that has been left in my (some would say incapable) hands, is that of how Madam Sadam came to be.

For those of you that don’t know Nancy personally – she is most definitely of Aryan stock: Blonde, blue/grey eyed, pale as hell.  Definitely not the type of girl that is easily mistaken for a Middle-East Dictator, but I digress.

The festivities of the wedding reception were carrying on late into the evening, as to be expected, and a distinctly rowdy tone was taking over.  Northern Ontarians sure know how to party – there were even people tailgating in the parking lot outside the reception prior to dinner.  As the night wore on, it became time to toss the bouquets and fling the garter belts.  Unfortunately, some amount of haze surrounds this point of the evening for me, so I can’t really remember why – but the boys had some sort of an ‘act’ for the Garter tossing ceremony, and it involved moustaches.

Ahh… glorious Mo’s.  What event isn’t greatly improved by the influx of a few portable ‘staches? After the crowd dispersed, and Jillian completed her mating dance, I somehow got my hands on one of the stick-on moustaches.  Much fun was had with the moustache, Jillian even turned it into a Uni-brow (points for creativity).  Eventually, it landed where it belonged all along, on my upper lip in all its moustachy glory.  And then this happened:


 Jillian discovered this photographic gem when we were back in the hotel room, and only showed it to me under the express understanding that I would not delete it.  I think we giggled for almost an hour.  After some of the tears were wiped away and we attempted to properly review the photo, the following conversation ensued:

J: You look like Saddam Hussein’s brother!!

N: No, I look like Saddam Hussein.

J: Haha, Madam Saddam!

More giggling.  Much, much more giggling.  Giggling even continued through brunch the next day, and at the BBQ the next evening.  Viewing of the photo is often met with a Gasp and an ‘OH, Nancy!’  Personally, I think this is a great thing for my self confidence and my general outlook – everything is UP from here, I couldn’t possibly look worse!

Where did those chins come from??  And what is that look on my face?  Gold star for me though, as you can see I’m toting a water bottle, which was clearly a wise move at this juncture in the evening. 

 I’m posting the photo, despite my claim of anonymity, confidently knowing that I’m unrecognizable in my guise of Madam Saddam.  Who knows, knowing my social life, maybe the Madam is more recognizable to her peers than Nancy herself?

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Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, How Embarrassing, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Bring on the Chewing and Swallowing!

So the Juice Cleanse is officially over.  Well.. I do have one more juice left, but that’s kind of a long story.  Anywho, how do I feel? Pretty good.  Would I do it again? Probably not.  I say that not because I don’t think it was beneficial, or that I hated every minute of it (although that contains a grain of truth), I just think there are ways more suited to me to cleanse my system.  Although, since it was only three days, it’s pretty low on the commitment scale and not bad for a quick fix.

I really really really missed eating.  It’s a very strange feeling to do nothing but drink liquids all day, and to be honest, it feels very unnatural.  Now, I can’t really say I went the whole three days without eating, both Eleanor and I had a speed bump along the way and actually had solid foods for our dinner last night.  I didn’t exactly go balls to the wall and grab a burger and fries – instead I went to Fresh with Jillian and gorged on Sweet Potato fries and a Vegetarian Burrito.  I’m such a rebel.

The 3 Day aspect is actually a little bit misleading as well, since it sounds as though you can complete a full cleanse in three days – lies.  The Totalclease.ca material suggests that you start with a three day pre-cleanse diet where you essentially cut out everything except for Fish, veggies and fruits.  After your Juicing, they suggest not just jump right back off the wagon but maintaining a mostly fruit and veg diet for up to five days.  Obviously, this all makes sense, as it helps to get some toxins out of your system beforehand so the cleanse can do its magic, and keeps the benefits around longer afterwards.  Big Fail for me however, since I was drinking like a sailor at our housewarming on Saturday and picked up a buttered bagel and coffee this morning. Oh well, the 2.5 days of just juice I’m sure still had its benefits.  Right?

I’m still a firm believer in the idea of cleansing, even though it’s a controversial topic.  Obviously there are huge benefits for people with digestion and food sensitivity issues, which is totally not the case for me. I think it’s a bit like exercising, you’re supposed to throw a variety of different workouts and routines at your body to keep everything guessing right?  This helps to ensure that your muscles and body don’t just react to one set of predicted challenges.  Cleansing is similar in a way, in that it provides your body with a new ordeal to work though.  Although, I guess the same could be said of binge drinking or sustaining a diet of all fast food meals.  Clearly, I’m not a Nutritionist.

Let’s be fair – I, along with many people I know, are pretty terrible to their bodies sometimes, I think a periodic overhaul isn’t out of the question 🙂  But maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment?


Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Story Time

What’s in a Name?

At Eleanor’s birthday dinner last night, the whole table got into a naming game of sorts. Eleanor is at the cusp of joining us in the blogosphere and is on the hunt for an appropriate, succinct and definitively charismatic surname that will help title her future blog’s home. Our group of six included myself, my Mother Peggy, Jillian, Tigger, Eleanor’s friend Gwen and of course, the birthday girl herself. Everyone was tossing out their favourite, or most hilarious suggestions. Popular name categories included:

  • Anything British, to reflect her homeland
  • References to her petite stature
  • Places in and around Toronto (Coxwell, anyone?)
  • Various things posted around the Restaurant – not sure if Eleanor “Restrooms” really has the right ring to it!

My personal favourite was Humperdink.

During the name-off, I told my Mother all about Nancy Francis and encouraged her to read. At which point she admitted “I already know about Nancy.” Clearly she has her sources! We then started discussing where the name Nancy had come from (Thank you, Jillian), and Tigger lamented that he would really prefer me to refer to him as Richard Nail a.k.a. Dick Nail. As we were all discussing our names, and what names we’d prefer Peggy decided this would be a great time to share that she had really wanted to name me Myfanawy. Myfanawy. Then they could have called me Miffy for short. What, what, WHAT? Miffy? I don’t think so.

This little nugget of information sent the table into hysterics, especially when we made the discovery that the name (as we were pronouncing it) sounds like someone with a terrible speech impediment is trying to say “My Family” – Muh-fam-wee. Cue belly laughs and streaming tears. Our server and other restaurant clientele weren’t sure what to do with us.

I’ve definitely bemoaned what I construe as the extreme commonality, and therefore lack of originality in my name, but am now extremely grateful that I dodged the Miffy bullet. What other horrors did you have up your sleeve Peggy?


Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, How Embarrassing

Triple Header

I’m getting too old for this nonsense!  Three nights of heavy drinking and little to no sleep make Nancy a broken girl.  Now, it’s not like anyone was twisting my arm here, and I did have an amazing weekend, but I’m a bit worse for wear on this particularly evil Monday afternoon!

Toronto Pride, Canada Day and a Double-Bachelorette party all landed on this past long weekend, and I took every occasion as a reason to celebrate – hard.  I hit Church Street with my boys (and Eleanor) on both Thursday and Friday night, happily combining our National celebration with supporting my friends into an overwhelming ‘Happy Canada Gay!’  I then peeled myself out of my bed on Saturday morning, having only had a brief visit with my pillow, and headed to Billy Bishop Airport to grab my Porter flight to Montreal.

I landed in Montreal as a shadow of my former self, with a tensor-bandaged ankle (not so graceful exit from a bar on Friday night), deep dark circles under my eyes and a general feeling of nausea that I carried with me to dinner.  Thankfully, I was able to tuck my well deserved hangover into the back of my mind and turn it on for a third straight night of drinking, dancing and general debauchery.  The trip to the male strip joint somewhere around 2am was the perfect end to the party – even though I giggled through the entire experience.

Very Fashion Forward

As I sat on my friend Blondie’s balcony having a nightcap (you know, at around 4am) of Champagne and Elderberry juice, I had to admit I was shocked that I had survived the weekend so unscathed.   Jillian and I ended the weekend with a beautiful afternoon in the Thousand Islands – complete with some misadvenutres on the Francis Family’s new boat!  Now I’m back in Toronto and back in action for the work week, with only a slight limp, an embarrassingly hoarse voice but the glow of knowing I still have it in me to be the life of the party.  At least until about 5am when I turn into a pumpkin.


Filed under Pictures Tell a Thousand Words, Story Time

Impulse Purchasing

I went shopping this afternoon with Jillian for an extended lunch, and it was marvellous.  We had some time to catch up, as I hadn’t seen her since she left on her fabulous trip to Portugal, and just generally gossip about life over the past two weeks (read: me talking incessantly about the house and packing)!  I suggested we head up to the Eaton Centre, as I had an errand to run at the Bookstore.  I needed to replace a gift that was given to me by my sister Sandy for Christmas this past year, which I just sold to some stranger off Kijiji.

Hold on to your judging hats for a second.  I didn’t just sell my gift off for cash, I was using the profits of the sale to upgrade to a newer version!  Sandy had given me the Kobo WiFi eReader for Christmas, which I instantly cherished as I’m a big reader.  Well, I’m a big reader sometimes, I definitely go through phases.  Anywho, I do really really love actual paper books, but they are expensive and a pain to store.  The Kobo totally solves this.  Well, not totally.

The Kobo is definitely fabulous, as it is extremely light, easy on the eyes (through the magic of eInk) and stores up to a thousand books!  My Kobo was also wildly fashionable because Sandy also included a leather Roots case in hot pink! The one area that it falls short is the page turn speed.  I’ve mentioned this to a few people who then insinuated that I was being a princess –  “Oh, you poor thing.  Your electronic books don’t change pages for you fast enough? Do they at least get your coffee orders correct?” – you get the drill.  While it may seem small, its actually hugely irritating, especially if you’re in the middle of what is ironically (in this context) referred to as a page turner.

I had decided that the page turning issue wasn’t enough to make me fall out with my Kobo, so I continued to fill it with many books I was only too eager to read – at least when the mood strikes me, ok?  But then, they released the Kobo Touch!  Now, I’m the first to admit that touch screen capability is 100% unnecessary when it comes to the electronic book market.  Using one button really isn’t that cumbersome.  However, after reading some reviews and marketing materials, I discovered that apparently I was not alone in my disappointment over paging turning speed and that the Kobo Touch had addressed that issue! While not instantaneous, the Touch version boasts a magnificently increased page turning speed.  Swoon.

This brings me to selling off my Christmas Gift.  I decided that this new release of the Kobo was definitely for me, and that I was going to need to upgrade.  Seeing as it’s a new hardware feature, its not like I could just download some new software and start poking at the screen.  I thought the whole process through, posted an Ad on Kijii and emailed Sandy.  Thankfully, Sandy totally understood my dilemma, and realized that this was definitely not a slight on her well thought out gift.   I met some dude on the corner of King and Yonge on Wednesday night, and exchanged my Kobo enclosed in my beloved pink leather case for cash.  How entrepreneurial.

So off Jillian and I go to Chapters today to pick up my new Kobo Touch!  I really wanted to hit the bookstore today because I’m about 10 pages away from the end of the second book in the Hunger Games Trilogy, and I do not yet own the final instalment.  The first two novels I had purchased in hardcopy with a gift certificate I received from Sandy last summer for my Birthday (are we seeing a pattern? Sandy buys me nice things), and I was just going to download the third book to read off my new toy.

I saw the Kobo Touches on display and eagerly played with one, showing Jillian the ropes  – because, you know, its functionality isn’t wildly apparent, right?  I skipped over to the display of Kobo cases and tragedy struck – There aren’t any pink… or purple, or even turquoise cases available for the new Kobo yet!  Well, yes there are actually, but not in the ‘sleeve’ style that I so enjoy.  I hummed and hawed over which of the muted tones I would hate the least:  Grey, White, Black or Beige.  Really, Beige? I grabbed the Black one, although I wasn’t happy about it.  Jillian could tell I wasn’t pleased with the available selection and tried to find me a better option, but alas, no vibrant colours (either than a really repulsive orange).

What marketing genius chose BEIGE?

I was about to admit defeat and head to the counter with my black leather case, but Jillian talked some sense into me.  I still have a pile of physical books to read, I don’t need the new Kobo today, and they will probably come out with new cases soon (the product only came out this week).  Decision made, I would just pick up the one final hardcover book and patiently await my pink sleeve to appear!  Off we marched to the Best Seller (read: Teen) section to collect my very own copy of Mockingjay.  I left confident that I’d made the right decision. 

Yup, that’s right.  Colour dilemmas aren’t just for clothes and shoes anymore, your books can be fashionable too.


Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Story Time

Less is More

I spend about 80% of my day right now thinking about moving and other general house stuff.  I sleep the other 20%.  Either than the logistics of the move itself, I’m really caught up in the whole idea of cleanliness and organization and how I’d like to improve in both of these areas.  

I’m what you would call a Clutter Bug.  I’m not down right messy, but its really hard for anything to look sufficiently clean when there are still a billion things on every counter.  I firmly have my parents to blame for this, as they keep everything and their style of décor is definitely.. well, busy.  Don’t get me wrong, my Parents have a beautiful home which is remarkably well decorated (why didn’t I get that gene?) and well kept, but there aren’t any clear surfaces anywhere.  Case in point: The Kitchen Table.  There is always a vase with fresh flowers, a fruit bowl, an antique cigarette box, a photo and a pile of mail on one end.  Always. This cluttery feeling is very homey to me and comfortable, but I think I need to get it under control a bit in my own environment.

My sister Sandy was infected with the Clutter Bug when she was younger, and then pretty much over night she sterilized her environment and hasn’t looked back.  Her homes have still had very warm touches to them, and there is definitely evidence of life everywhere, but its neat, clean and organized.  I want that. 

Jillian has this godly skill as well.  She apologized profusely about the ‘mess’ of her apartment when I was over last night, and either than a book or two lying around as evidence of where she spends her time, I honestly could see no mess.

Nancy, on the other hand, is drowning in stuff.  I love everything, and have a big difficulty throwing out little memories.  I’m not a hoarder, not even close, but I have enough of everything to satisfy a large family – not just one lone lioness.  Jillian and Eleanor went through my closet earlier this year and I chucked about 50 pounds of clothing, the closets didn’t show evidence of the lightened load.

My cluttery ways are not just inflicted on my home environment either, I definitely have a busy workspace as well.  So much so that my boss recently threatened to make me move to a new desk just to force me to have to purge some of my stuff while packing.  I quickly spent that afternoon tidying up and throwing away a lot of the ‘stuff’ that I usually just have pinned to my board or lying on my desk.  To give you an idea of my desk environment today:









I think I’ve made some progress.  Lets hope I do a better job at my new house!


Filed under Office Antics, Story Time