Tag Archives: Fail

Happy Birthday Mr. Stallan 

Stuff like this makes me miss blogging, real bad.

Important notes: My birthday was two months ago, and – despite the resonant quality of my voice – I am not a Mr. 


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Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Uncategorized

SisterFest: Almost Birthday Fail

Best laid plans, or not so much …

As my Sister’s 35th birthday was landing on Thanksgiving weekend, I planned well in advance for the two of us to have a night on the town together a la Cirque du Soleil! I actually ordered the tickets in July using Aeroplan points and arranged fancy pants VIP treatment. Needless to say we were both pretty excited.

Being that I’m an exceptional planner, it was not exactly expected when as we attempted to enter the Grand Chapiteau we were informed that our tickets weren’t for that evening – they were for the prior Friday. Fail! My jaw hit the floor and we shuffled over to the box office to see what, if anything, could be done.

Box office is maybe a generous term, considering that Cirque is a traveling show and all facilities are mobile. Thusly, we stood in front of a mobile ticket booth as I told my sob story. Thankfully the Customer service woman was helpful and determined that not only were my tickets not for the day I had purchased but they weren’t even in my name. Thanks Aeroplan, so glad I paid that extra fee so you would make my reservation for me. Bunch of jerks.

In the end Cirque issued us re-invitation tickets for another night, including the VIP addition! Extremely pleased with how helpful they were, minus a couple of points for it taking an entire hour and us standing outside in the rain during the process.

Thankfully Sister was manning the phone during this time and got us a reservation nearby at Gilead Wine bar, so libations and sustenance were not far off. Dinner was wonderful and we were able to salvage an otherwise awkwardly cancelled evening.

Entertainingly, our dinner was at a restaurant that sat directly across from some modern town homes that had giant glass windowed kitchens. Throughout dinner we were able to semi-creepily be amused by the goings-on in the various kitchens.

The most interesting events occurred in one particular unit where a handsome (from a distance, at least) man carefully made what I could only imagine to be the most delicious popcorn. He had one of those fancy popcorn makers with the red bottom and large glass top, which he placed in front of a large white bowl. Once the popcorn was popped, he slowly poured butter over the bowl and then added THREE further toppings – two shaken, one more poured. He then carefully tossed the ingredients in the bowl with two wooden spoons!

I was far too intrigued by the whole process, but the waiter stopped by and admitted that we weren’t the first guests to be mesmerized by the popcorn routine!

Despite the giant clusterfuck that our evening began as, we managed to have a great night out and had even more birthday goodness in the weekend – which is another story.


Filed under Events in Review, How Embarrassing, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Crash Landing

Here I sit on the couch, catching up on some trash TV (the Bachelor double episode week – Drama, Drama Drama! oh and lots of mascara tears) and icing both of my knees.

Knee injury jokes aside, this sucks.

I managed to crash down during a run around Toronto this evening. I had just hit that sweet spot where you remember that you actually like running: My lungs had adjusted to the frosty air and my breathing was under control, I felt strong, my legs were happy in their strides, and it was still light out at six o’clock!!! I was cruising up Jarvis almost at Front st and BAM. Down for the count.

No surprises here really – my relationship with gravity is shaky at best. Plus, you know – I’m only starting to train for a half marathon on Monday, no big deal.


I think the right knee is going to be particularly fetching.


Filed under Events in Review, Fitness Follies, How Embarrassing, Negative Nancy, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Sleeping Beauty

Pet owner fail.

This is the blissful sleeping kitty I woke up next to this morning:

Aaannnnndddd this was him, 30 seconds later, after I dropped the phone on him taking that first photo:

Whoops! Good thing he loves me.


Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

I would say No

As the end of Summer is drawing to a close (NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!) it’s the time of year that the interns at my office have their last few weeks before bidding us adieu and returning to their respective campuses to imbibe in Frosh week fun.  In order to celebrate the end of summer with them, and convince them that working is just as fun as partying at University (False. False. False.), we take all the Interns and their Coaches – including Coach Nancy – out for an evening of fun an frivolity starting off at Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament.

For those of you that have never experienced the wonder of Medieval Times, I highly suggest checking it out.  Why, you ask? Because you get to drink beer, eat with your hands, call your server a Wench and hoot and holler at an imaginary competition.  Its all very corny.  I also suspect that the staff members are amongst the most awkward and nerdy people in their real lives, and relish their jobs as the only time they can be their true selves. Judgemental Nancy aside, they get really into their roles.  Makes me giggle.

Anywho, prior to be lead into the arena for dinner, donned with a crown matching the colour of your knight for the evening, there is a bit of a spectacle in the gathering room.  Normally the King and Queen come out and are announced, the general tone of the evening is set, and you get a bit of ‘background’ on the Medieval community you are now the Lords and Ladys of.  This is also a great time to pose for group photos with your brand new crowns and souvenir flashing cups! 

On our night out, we were treated to a special show in the gathering room, with two people being invited up to the stage with the King and Queen.  I wasn’t paying too much attention, because I was focused on ordering my beer (they had Steam Whistle!! Win!), but I heard a sudden gasp in the crowd and whipped around just in time to witness a young man down on one knee, with a ring.  WWwwhhhhaaaaatttt? Proposing at Medieval Times?  I. Would. Die. And then say No.   However, the Young Lady on the stage practically squealed with excitement before shouting yes, pulling her man up from his knees and leaping into his awaiting arms.  W. T. F.? It takes all kinds, folks.

The young couple looked like they were on cloud nine, wearing their Red crowns as they were lead into the Arena.  We were lucky enough (..sarcasm? I’m not even sure) to be sitting in the same section as the pair, so we got to watch them enjoy their first meal together as an Engaged couple.  I couldn’t wipe the confused look off my face, but eventually just settled into ignoring them and wondering if my standards are possibly too high? Nope, Medieval Times Proposals are a dealbreaker for me, 100%.

Funnily enough, the couple only received a small reception from the crowd when they were announced by the King while, after some initial confusion about what a group of interns was, we received some mighty cheering.  I guess I’m not the only one in the crowd who would have said No.

Also a NO

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Filed under Awk-ward, Events in Review, Funny Ha-Ha, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words