Tag Archives: Dads

Shit My Dad Sends

Toronto is a big city right? right? Then why does it feel so small sometimes!?

So I went on a date last night with someone I met online (gasp, I know), I’ll call him the Italian. So creative.

Pretty early on in the evening we discovered that we have some mutual friends – well friends to him, family to me.  He used to work with two of my cousins and seems to know them fairly well.  Definitely not that surprising, and the connection was easily established as I sport my Cousin’s company logo on my cell phone.

We chatted a bunch about my cousins – who are awesome, so we had tons of funny stories to discuss – and moved on to other topics.  Turns out that we have a lot in common as we have likely been a at least a dozen of the same parties, worked in the same building for a few years, were probably at some of the same concerts back in our punk days (wow, I’m old – back in the day totally applies here), and even grew up in similar suburbs.

After a few pints we headed to a different bar and during our first pint there he raised his eyebrow and said “So what do you know about Uncle Bill?”

Pause.

“You mean my Dad?!”

Hysterical laughter.

Backstory: My Father is a bit of an email junky.  He loves to forward absolutely everything that he ever sees on the internet on to different groups of people.  I mostly get emails about Cats.  He has another group, however, that get the more risqué deliveries.  And by risqué, I most definitely mean Porn.

So I guess my Cousin has on occasion flipped an email to the Italian and indicated the source as ‘Uncle Bill’.

So my Dad has sent porn to a guy I just started dating.  Awesome.

Inappropriate

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Filed under Awk-ward, Events in Review, Funny Ha-Ha, How Embarrassing, Story Time

TMI, Dad

… But thanks for the warning.

As Peggy and I journeyed back to Toronto early on this sunny morning, my Father placed one of his numerous (and expected) phone calls. Normally these calls range in purpose:

• To list things we may have forgotten -ok, the time with the laptop and the time I left my wallet were totally justified
• Often he wants to check on our progress – really? How far can we get in 20 minutes?
• Sometimes he just calls to pass on anecdotes he forgot to share over the weekend – and we wonder why I yammer so much?

He quite often phones me when I’m at work to check how the rest of the ride was, as well. I miss you too, Dad.

Today, however, was different. Dad had taken it upon himself to ring us and warn of a possible oncoming issue.

Apparently his flatulence had been of the problematic variety, and was concerned it was something that he (and therefore Mom and I) had eaten. So… Ok, I’ll be careful passing wind then – thanks Dad.

Despite the tidings of doom, I experienced nothing more than garden variety gas today.

Does this count as Fatherly wisdom?

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Filed under Events in Review, Funny Ha-Ha