Tag Archives: Complaining

False Advertising

Have you noticed the frequency with which things are described as “renaissance”, “vintage” or “antique” when they are really just worn out and old?

For example, I am currently riding the Canadian Rails to Ottawa on board a Via “Renaissance” train:


Lovely modern seat right? I’m also fairly certain I’ve contracted some sort of Black Lung from the mildew on the accordion blinds. Not pictured: arm rests so worn out you can see inside the chair.

I guess I can see the charm in calling something Renaissance, instead of the “old model” though.

HOWEVER, what I completely don’t understand is using these terms in the wrong setting – say a lingerie store.

I was out purchasing some undies at lunch (not because I need them, but because I forgot to pack them) and I saw an ad in the store for “Neon Vintage Lace” bras. I’m sorry, what??

I’m pretty sure there is a limit on the amount of truly Vintage items available in neon. Also, what do they mean by “vintage lace”? Is it old lace? Would I want that on my bra? Or does it just look old? Who would want that either.

Clearly, I’m over analyzing – but it bugs me when people use a thesaurus just to avoid using accurate terms:

Renaissance Train = Shitty Old and Likely Pulled Back From Retirement

Neon Vintage Lace = Cheap Cotton in Various Shades of Pink

Premature Curmudgeon = Nancy Francis



Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Negative Nancy, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Old Sole

Neuroma sounds a whole lot like Neurotic

No, that’s not grammatically incorrect – I do, in fact, have an old sole.  Actually, I should say soles plural.   I know I’ve discussed the advanced aging of my actual soul before, but today I’m specifically referring to my poor little feet.  Not only have I been previously diagnosed with Bunions, Plantar Fasciitis, Bone Spurs and Arthritis of the foot (and have been sporting s.e.x.y. orthotics since my early twenties) – I now apparently have a neuroma in my left foot, which explains the significantly increased amount of whinging I’ve been participating in recently.

Thanks to a trip to see my Chiropodist (pronounced somewhere between Sure-opodist and Shear-opodist) my left foot is all taped up and I’m walking more foolishly than usual.

I had planned on blogging today about my magnificent evening at the Circus last night – but instead, I will show you a picture of my foot all taped up, next to some shoes I love.  I feel like some retail therapy will lift my spirits!

At least my taped foot fits in my favourite Sequined Zebra flats! Hello, Brightside!




Filed under How Embarrassing, Negative Nancy, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words