Tag Archives: Complaining

False Advertising

Have you noticed the frequency with which things are described as “renaissance”, “vintage” or “antique” when they are really just worn out and old?

For example, I am currently riding the Canadian Rails to Ottawa on board a Via “Renaissance” train:

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Lovely modern seat right? I’m also fairly certain I’ve contracted some sort of Black Lung from the mildew on the accordion blinds. Not pictured: arm rests so worn out you can see inside the chair.

I guess I can see the charm in calling something Renaissance, instead of the “old model” though.

HOWEVER, what I completely don’t understand is using these terms in the wrong setting – say a lingerie store.

I was out purchasing some undies at lunch (not because I need them, but because I forgot to pack them) and I saw an ad in the store for “Neon Vintage Lace” bras. I’m sorry, what??

I’m pretty sure there is a limit on the amount of truly Vintage items available in neon. Also, what do they mean by “vintage lace”? Is it old lace? Would I want that on my bra? Or does it just look old? Who would want that either.

Clearly, I’m over analyzing – but it bugs me when people use a thesaurus just to avoid using accurate terms:

Renaissance Train = Shitty Old and Likely Pulled Back From Retirement

Neon Vintage Lace = Cheap Cotton in Various Shades of Pink

Premature Curmudgeon = Nancy Francis

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Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Negative Nancy, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Old Sole

Neuroma sounds a whole lot like Neurotic

No, that’s not grammatically incorrect – I do, in fact, have an old sole.  Actually, I should say soles plural.   I know I’ve discussed the advanced aging of my actual soul before, but today I’m specifically referring to my poor little feet.  Not only have I been previously diagnosed with Bunions, Plantar Fasciitis, Bone Spurs and Arthritis of the foot (and have been sporting s.e.x.y. orthotics since my early twenties) – I now apparently have a neuroma in my left foot, which explains the significantly increased amount of whinging I’ve been participating in recently.

Thanks to a trip to see my Chiropodist (pronounced somewhere between Sure-opodist and Shear-opodist) my left foot is all taped up and I’m walking more foolishly than usual.

I had planned on blogging today about my magnificent evening at the Circus last night – but instead, I will show you a picture of my foot all taped up, next to some shoes I love.  I feel like some retail therapy will lift my spirits!

At least my taped foot fits in my favourite Sequined Zebra flats! Hello, Brightside!

 

 

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Filed under How Embarrassing, Negative Nancy, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words