Monthly Archives: October 2013

Shit My Dad Sends

Toronto is a big city right? right? Then why does it feel so small sometimes!?

So I went on a date last night with someone I met online (gasp, I know), I’ll call him the Italian. So creative.

Pretty early on in the evening we discovered that we have some mutual friends – well friends to him, family to me.  He used to work with two of my cousins and seems to know them fairly well.  Definitely not that surprising, and the connection was easily established as I sport my Cousin’s company logo on my cell phone.

We chatted a bunch about my cousins – who are awesome, so we had tons of funny stories to discuss – and moved on to other topics.  Turns out that we have a lot in common as we have likely been a at least a dozen of the same parties, worked in the same building for a few years, were probably at some of the same concerts back in our punk days (wow, I’m old – back in the day totally applies here), and even grew up in similar suburbs.

After a few pints we headed to a different bar and during our first pint there he raised his eyebrow and said “So what do you know about Uncle Bill?”

Pause.

“You mean my Dad?!”

Hysterical laughter.

Backstory: My Father is a bit of an email junky.  He loves to forward absolutely everything that he ever sees on the internet on to different groups of people.  I mostly get emails about Cats.  He has another group, however, that get the more risqué deliveries.  And by risqué, I most definitely mean Porn.

So I guess my Cousin has on occasion flipped an email to the Italian and indicated the source as ‘Uncle Bill’.

So my Dad has sent porn to a guy I just started dating.  Awesome.

Inappropriate

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Filed under Awk-ward, Events in Review, Funny Ha-Ha, How Embarrassing, Story Time

To the Bride and Groom

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A little delayed, but a big congrats to my Sis and her new Husband.  This was my maid of honor speech – not included, however, images of me dodging a dive bombing moth during the delivery.

For those of you that do not know me, I’m Sarah, little and only sister to our Beautiful Bride – and as of today, little Sis to our Dapper Groom (although he’s been calling me Sis since we met).

Congratulations to you both, I’m so happy for you and know that you will have a wonderful future together – I can’t wait to share it with you.

Holly has been a great big Sis, always available to lend a hand and provide guidance, even if I maybe wasn’t the best listener.  As much as I tend to deny it, I’ve definitely followed in her footsteps.  I tailed her from school to school when we we’re younger and then copy-catted her trip out West to find a job, be a Ski Bunny and learn to drink (I’ll let you guess who clocked more time on the hill and who was a bit more practiced at the Après).  I even attended the same University – in fact, it was the only school I applied too.

After Bishop’s I struck my own path and decided to stay in Toronto, as it truly is my first Love.  Holly, as most of you know, spent some time overseas and the set up shop out West.  I like to think it was because of me that she moved back to Toronto, I mean really – Quality Sister time? – That’s the best reason I can think of 🙂

Since we are both in the same city now we have been provided with lots of opportunity to spend time together, bond as adults and pick up some new hobbies, most notably Running.  Running “together” is a bit of a misnomer, however.  You see, Holly has a bit of a Competitive streak, so on our training runs I generally end up running about a block behind her – Just far enough that she is clearly winning, but close enough that she can keep an eye on me.  In a Race situation, however, she is out of the gate like a rocket and only looks back to make sure I’m not on her tail.  I like to think of it as Teamwork – she runs harder and faster if there is even a chance that I will catch up.

Onto my newest family member – Mike, my new Big Bro.  A story you likely haven’t heard yet is about a letter I sent to Santa when I was a little girl.  Apparently in my haste to get my list of wants off to Santa, I mistakenly asked for a baby Bother.  Yup, Bother.  Mom of course says that’s exactly what it would have been, a bother.  Lucky for me, Santa finally delivered.

I’m very excited to have you as an addition to our wild family.  I’ve felt comfortable around you from day one and would describe you as no less than a gentleman and a scholar.  To borrow from my Thornhill heritage, I would call you a Mensch. Mensch is a Yiddish term which roughly means a Good Person, but is most often interpreted as meaning a Stand up Guy, Someone of Noble character and is used a high compliment.  And that’s exactly how I mean it.  Mike, you’re a real Mensch.

Enough of my yammering, to the Bride and Groom!

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Filed under Events in Review, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words