Monthly Archives: January 2013

Time to Hit the Road

So I’ve signed up to run a Half Marathon on May 5th, 2013.

Gulp.

For those of you not currently obsessed with running –  a Half Marathon is 21.1 kilometres or 13.11 miles.  Which sounds scary, likely because it is scary.

I frequently find myself breaking up the distance into manageable chunks in my mind – because I’ve never run that far before and I’m finding it hard to really digest:

  • All summer/fall I ran to work in the mornings a few times a week, which is about 5k from my house to the gym – so I just have to run there, and then back, and then there and then back again.. and then around the block
  • The longest official race I have participated in was 8k – sweet so the Half is less than three times that
  • My longest run yet was 11.5k – so slap on an extra 10k and we’re there

So.. it still sounds like a very very long way.

As with most endeavors in my personal life, I have every inch of my training for this planned out – at least I think I do.

And obviously, there is a big vacation to contend with in the middle!

And obviously, there is a big vacation to contend with in the middle!

Not surprisingly either, prior to even starting my training my body is starting to revolt – which is ironic since I’ve been running less (both in terms of frequency and distance) recently than I did since starting running last year.

So as of February 11th, I’m on the road to my Half Marathon.  For those of you that have to deal with me in the real world: expect an increased amount of limping and general whingeyness – my apologies in advance.

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Filed under Fitness Follies

Maybe I’m the Problem?

Its cold right now in Canada.  Really cold.

Ok, maybe it would be worse if I lived in Winnipeg, or frankly even Ottawa – but minus 25 with the windchill is cold in my books.

The thing that really gets me though is that last year, that blissful year when I got to miss out on Winter while working in Australia – it never really got cold in Toronto.  I even detailed my frustrations with the lackluster “summer” I was experiencing in Sydney whilst Torontonians were BBQ’ing in t-shirts in FEBRUARY in this post.  This year though? Time to break out the parkas!

weather gods

Now I get that every season every year has its differences – like the last two summers here were hotter than Hades (no complaints there, by the way).  I still have to wonder though, why does an epically bad summer befall Sydney when I’m there yet we have the first really cold winter out of the last handful of years upon my return?

Not convinced that I’m the problem yet? Consider this – after the wet and cool summer experienced in Sydney during my stay last year, Australia has been blasted with extreme heat this year.  So much so that they had to add new colours to their forecasting chart to identify temperatures in excess of 50 degrees.

BOM

Dear Residents of  Toronto: It may be in your best interest to ship me off to somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere every winter.  Despite the lackluster weather I’ll be the recipient of on my end, I’m still willing to take one for the proverbial team.

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Filed under Negative Nancy, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

I wish it was a Tupperware party

I received a mysterious invitation via phone call last week from… well… I’ll just say an acquaintance. When he invited me over to his house with no other pretense than “I’d like to introduce you to some people” I wasn’t sure what to think. My first question was “are you going to kill me?” To which he replied “No.” Whew.

Unsure about the nature of the event, I chose a comfortable and flattering outfit for work the next day and started brainstorming with my roommates what I could possibly be in for. My favourite suggestion was Tupperware party.

  • Plain old social event – sure, that could be it, but like with every other possible suggestion why was the only information provided that he wanted to introduce me to some people?
  • Goodbye Party – Acquaintance is heading out of town for a bit, but a goodbye party on the Thursday with invite only on a Wednesday? Maybe.
  • Alone time – or what my sister so eloquently put as ‘Pound or No Pound‘, this was pretty much a zero percent chance but I still picked a cute outfit
  • Tupperware Party/Pampered Chef etc – Would be a bit out of left field, but I could always use some extra tupperware or random kitchen accoutrement that I’ll never get around to using. Plus, those events tend to have booze – bonus.
  • Ponzi Scheme – With the cover of mystery settling over the evening, more than one person brought this up.

I settled into not knowing what was happening and tried to not think about it – Type A hyper-planners such as myself are not OK with this situation, I was definitely a bit anxiety ridden that day. I sent one final text asking if I should bring anything along with me either than Pepper spray and his response only included an address. Prior to heading off into the unknown, I went for drinks with a friend (and possibly the best poutine I’ve ever had) – and was very thankful for the booze in my system later in the night.

When I arrived at the apartment, it was pretty clear that this was not a social gathering: The apartment was spotless (not that I really had a reference point, but it wasn’t ‘party clean’ it was ‘staged clean’), the seats were all arranged to face the TV and there were stacks of materials on the coffee table. It took about a minute or two for me to be able to read one of the items on the coffee table (which was upside down for me) before something clicked and I knew what was going on. The Magazine was Success From Home. Oh. Dear. God.

First sign of trouble ahead...

First sign of trouble ahead…

Over the next 45 minutes I listened to three separate presentations and watched a DVD. In truth though, it took me about 30 seconds to figure out the gist of the situation. When someone opens their presentation with stating that their background was in ‘traditional business’ and that they had slaved away working for someone else before they learned about this business model, my mind went straight to two words: Pyramid Scheme.

According to Wikipedia:

A pyramid scheme is a non-sustainable business model that involves promising participants payment or services, primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, rather than supplying any real investment or sale of products or services to the public

Now in the interest of not bashing the company (which is actually legit, seriously) or my acquaintance’s ambition, I’m going to leave out the specifics. I will say that there were actual products and services for sale, and something at least semi tangible in return for your original investment.  However, while there really is a lot more to the business than I originally feared, it still boils down to this:  You Invest. Then you get two friends to invest. Then those two friends get two friends to invest. And so on and so forth, all while your income increase with each step (of the pyramid) that you create below you.

I don’t care what legal business practices you apply – when your compensation plan includes images like the one below, its a Pyramid Scheme:

Consider this a sideways Pyramid

Consider this a sideways Pyramid

Thankfully, when the presentation ended there was absolutely zero pressure for me to get on board or sign up for anything further. Thank God. While I realize that the right kind of person likely can profit from this type of investment, that person is definitely not me – first and foremost because I wouldn’t be caught dead inviting people over to get sucked into an evening such as this.

I really wish there was some sort of Dictaphone device that could record my thoughts – because I was doing everything I could to hold it together (especially during the DVD) and, honestly, one sideways glance would have sent me off the edge into the territory of hysterical laughter. Is this really happening? Why? Why Me?

"Overriding Residual Income" ... sure

“Overriding Residual Income” … sure

Lesson Learned: Never accept mysterious invitations.

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Filed under Awk-ward, Events in Review, How Embarrassing, Negative Nancy

Sleeping Beauty

Pet owner fail.

This is the blissful sleeping kitty I woke up next to this morning:

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Aaannnnndddd this was him, 30 seconds later, after I dropped the phone on him taking that first photo:

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Whoops! Good thing he loves me.

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Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Scenes From the Road

I find myself currently on a train headed towards Ottawa – after a mere three nights home in my own bed. It was probably time for me to get on the move anyway, lest the voices catch up with me 😉

Seems like a good time to reminisce about my awesome Road Trip with two of my favourite ladies!

In lieu of long winded stories (who, me?), here is a glimpse of our trip as seen through my iPhone.

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I’m a beer girl myself, but “Completely Drinkable” sounds like a pretty decent review for a $2.50 glass of vino.

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Possibly the most molested my senses have ever felt while dining. These lights, accoutrements, and little Dino (see him?) were dangling perilously low throughout the little Indian joint where we dined in the East Village. The tables were so close together that while a fellow at a neighboring table was requesting to borrow my spoon while pointing at it, he accidentally put his hands all over it – it’s all yours buddy! Awesome food though, and totally worth it for the experience alone.

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Ahh .. Here’s that Southern Charm we’ve been hearing all about!

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$2 Tall Boys? Yes please. Ill also happily settle for the free drinks we received at the next two establishments. D and I have never had such a crazy night for only five bucks a piece! My mid-evening water chugging intermission was a stroke of genius.

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Pretty much a matched pair, especially after the $2 beer and all the “on the house” we could handle.

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Lunch on Tybee Island, Georgia consisted of insanely salty popcorn and heavily boozey slushies – there was even a sign cautioning the unexpected alcohol content.

Eating, sleeping and drinking – that pretty much sums it up – oh and driving, lots and lots of driving!!

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Filed under Events in Review, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Georgia on my Mind..

So.. Happy New Year!!

Nancy has been very quiet, because Nancy has been very busy!

After a jam packed holiday season with the fam I headed of on a road trip with two of my girls. We just spent 5 nights in NYC, including a wild NYE at a warehouse in Brooklyn (and various other establishments until well into New Years Day). We have recently arrived at our second chosen destination en route to Florida – Savannah, Georgia!

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So far we can tell the town is gorgeous and will be an excellent stop for two or three nights! We are right near the river which is covered in cobblestone streets and neat old brick buildings like this:

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Our hotel (okay.. Motel) will more than do the job, and came complete with a very southern lady at the front desk. I asked her what the one thing we should definitely do when visiting Savannah – her response?

CLUB (definitely had a long southern drawl involved)

Really? Ok so we are going to walk around town tomorrow, check out the Cemetery from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and maybe do a Ghost Tour.

But for tonight, we are safely checked into our new home and are off to investigate the possibility of $2 pints 🙂

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Filed under Events in Review, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words