Diagnosis: Lazy Ass

After all the exercising I’ve been doing this year, particularly the running, its not surprising that I’ve had my share of aches and pains.  It is common to see me limping around during the day because my legs hurt in some fashion, which can be caused by a variety of reasons, mostly:

  • Evil Squats
  • Evil Lunges
  • Anything the Irish Sadist (my Personal Trainer) thinks is ‘fun’
  • Running

And sometimes, my feet just hurt. Recently, however, I’ve been having trouble in particular with my calves.  I’ve received advice from Jillian to stretch my calves as often as possible, and possibly even get them massaged.  I’ve been trying to foam roll them frequently to work out the kinks, which is a wildly painful experience, but I haven’t been making any progress. (for some excellent info on Foam Rolling, check out this post at Me Plus My Trainer!) Out of both the fear of really injuring myself and the general knowledge that something is always wrong with me, I made an appointment with a Sports Medicine doctor.  The doctor asked a few question, and poked and prodded at my calves for a bit before confirming that my calves were incredibly tight and recommending that I see a Physiotherapist.

I spent the next week worrying about how horrific my Physio experience was going to be.  Based on the level of pain from foam rolling, and my previous history with foot and lower leg massages – there was a strong possibility that this treatment would include blackout inducing pain. Panic.

I showed up to my appointment, nervous as ever, and was greeted by my new Physio, Liz.  She asked similar questions that the Sport Med Doc had, and then got into much more specifics about my overall health and sport specific goals (Umm.. keep running?).  Once she had the basics down, she started the assessment.  She spent a significant amount of time checking my posture, my flexibility and my hips.  I then had to perform a few functional movements such as balancing on one leg, squatting, one legged squats and walking back and forth so she could check my gait.  I finally lay down on the examination table for her to get a feel of my calves.  Once the assessment was over, I braced myself – it was time for the treatment plan announcement of ‘friction massage’, ‘acupuncture’ or some other torturous technique.  Wow was I wrong.

The problem really isn’t in my calves at all.  In short, I have very flexible joints (called high mobility) meaning that my ankles, legs, elbows etc all hyper extend with ease.  Due to this, my muscles naturally have to work a bit harder because my ligaments are stabilizing my joints very well.  Ok, already knew that part – but now I understand that all of my posterior chain muscles are going to suffer from running, but in a manageable sense.  She then went on to explain how some of my Gluteal muscles (read: ass) are not engaging when they should, they aren’t taking their part of the work load in some movements. Thanks to this, parts of my Glutes are underdeveloped and have lead to a weak or ‘wobbly’ pelvis.

She spent some time having me try some movements and kept poking my Glutes to show me that they weren’t engaging at all when they should be.  After several minutes of this “Lift, What Hurts? Poke” routine, I started to giggle.  I turned around and said, “Are you trying to tell me that I have a Lazy Ass?”  Apparently that is exactly the problem.

Maybe my sister Sandy is right when she says I’m “Never just quite right“.



Filed under Awk-ward, Events in Review, How Embarrassing

12 responses to “Diagnosis: Lazy Ass

  1. missjessedeol

    Reading this blog just reminded me I need to start doing squats again … least favorite exercise 😥 but it’s good for you! Good luck working out 🙂

  2. Haha I have the exact same problem with my calves!! Have you tried compresson socks? That’s my next running purchase!

    • Oooh.. I really want to get compression socks, pink ones to be exact (I saw them on Tara’s blog actually!). They seem like a big investment though – but if they help my calves I’d totally jump on that!

  3. Blogless wonder

    Sounds like you found a good doctor- one who took the time to find out what was really wrong. Wish more doctors were like that! And thanks for turning your pain, anxiety, and underdeveloped glutes into a fun read.
    P.S. Hope your legs feel better!

  4. Kat

    I love how you have a sense of humour about everything. I regularly crack up at your posts.

  5. Hey there!
    This is hilarious, I also have “loose” joints, and a wobbly pelvis because of a lack of stability, which ends up with some really funny exercises and massages from the physio. It’s tricky to fix, at least I haven’t been getting too far, but I also am working with a torn labrum (cartilage ring). So… anyway,,, as another person who also always has something wrong with her, do the physio exercises, injured hips suck so stabilize that pelvis!

  6. Pingback: Butt-upuncture | nancyfrancis

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