So there is a possibility that yours truly is going to be on TV, and not because I’ve committed a crime or am camera bombing a news report – I’m auditioning for a Reality show!
I’ll give you the short(ish) version:
Late this summer while I was at a patio in Toronto celebrating Jillian’s birthday, sans alcohol (thanks to the Irish Sadist), a couple of ladies approached our group. They introduced themselves as casting associates for the Canadian version of Come Date with Me – based off the popular Come Dine with Me series, but with more dating and possibly less dining. As I was one of the only single gals in the crowd I quickly jumped at the opportunity and offered up my name and contact information. A week or so later I received a message offering me to apply to the show – and attached was an incredibly long application form. Some sample questions:
- When was your last relationship? Why did it end? Whoa, how do you say ‘several years ago‘ and ‘I’m not sure, but he dumped me in an EMAIL‘ without sounding like an undateable leper?
- What is the one thing you wouldn’t want a date to know about you? Lets start with how neurotic I am, and maybe my penchant for all things neon and animal print
- What are your hobbies and passions in life? Hmm.. I’m going to need a more creative way to say ‘Drinking’
- Are you a vegetarian? Vegan? My actual answer was ‘Nope. Bring on the Meat Sweats‘. Why am I single again?
After hammering out a rough draft, Eleanor and I sat around one night and edited some of my answers – mostly the ones where I was avoiding the question (see numbers 1-3 above) or being unnecessarily critical of myself. I sent the email off the next day and promptly forgot about it – until last week when I received a call from one of the Casting directors for a phone interview, and then arranged an on camera interview with me, in my own home – for tomorrow. gasp.
Ok, so lets review why having Nancy on film (at the interview, let alone the show itself) might be a poor idea:
- Blushing doesn’t even begin to cover it – after the phone interview I went to the bathroom and my entire neck and chest was covered in a splotchy crimson mess
- My facial expressions are dramatic and unattractive – Think Jim Carrey, possibly not that severe but you get the idea
- My nostrils flair when I laugh – I shit you not, every goddam time
- High likelihood of me hitting the camera while wildly, and unnecessarily, gesturing with my hands – a legitimate concern of mine
Oh ya, and there is that ‘Camera adds 10 pounds thing’. While I may have recently lost some weight, I have a huge fear that I will possibly be confused with a baby Orca (remember Shamu??). It definitely doesn’t help that I found my official finish photo from the Toronto Zoo 5k I did a few weeks ago and showed it to a coworker. Honestly, it might actually be the worst photo of me ever – so I mentioned the camera adds weight thing and he actually responded with ‘How many cameras were on you??‘ Oy. In fairness, he was kidding.
Nancy Francis, on camera interview with Come Date with Me Canada – T minus 1 day.