I flew to Vancouver this weekend to celebrate my friend Toe Socks’s final party as a single gal. Well, actually she’s technically already married, this is wedding number two (to the same man)- but that’s a different story.
For the big event we had secured a penthouse suite at the River Rock Hotel & Casino (fitting, since Wedding #1 was in Vegas). A small number of us jetted off to the hotel early in the afternoon to set up – via prom reminiscent stretch Limo. Sounds fancy right? Well – I think it actually might have been the same limo from prom ie. absolutely nothing updated or modern. Extremely 90s. We still pretended to be riding in style – even when we discovered that the champagne glasses provided were seriously filthy (think: lipstick stains) and there was a half empty beer that didn’t belong to any of us. It’s ok, we had our Baby Duck bubbles out of plastic glasses. That’s how we roll.
We arrived at the hotel and negotiated our way out of the limo while maintaining as much dignity as possible – I have a new found respect and understanding for less than graceful limo exits by celebrities. After checking in, we dropped the Bride-to-be off at the spa and headed up to set up the room.
The suite was gorgeous and had a magnificent view. By the time everyone started to arrive we had amazing snacks prepared, a poker table arranged in the middle of the room and a bathtub full of ice awaiting incoming beverages in need of cooling.
The party really started (for me at least) when the entertainment arrived – in the form of a shirtless poker dealer. I spent the rest of the evening trying to negotiate the addition of “pants less” to his repertoire – I was only semi successful.
We mostly avoided tacky bachelorette party norms – there was no phallic decoration, we didn’t force the bride to wear a costume (though she did have a bride sash, and we all wore tiaras), and we didn’t play any games, except for poker. However, there was definitely some heavy drinking. Having the preference for mostly only beer myself, I was impressed at the effort that some women put into their cocktails: blenders, mashers and even some sorbet was involved.
After winning many many poker hands and taking my reward in the form of tequila body shots off the aforementioned shirtless dealer (didn’t actually get his name – his cup said “Man Slave #1” and I only referred to him as “Meat”) – I was among the first to hit the hay. I didn’t Houdini, my usual late night M.O., the Bride actually tucked me in!
Cut to later in the evening when several girls were waking me up and telling me to pack up my stuff – I had to go. Confused, disoriented and sleepy, I didn’t pay much attention to the Police Officers at the door to our room. I followed Toe Sock’s directions and headed off with one other drowsy solider to our other room in the hotel and promptly returned to unconsciousness.
I haven’t quite figured out the details but apparently some of our group were allegedly being “belligerent and threatening” to the Casino staff and so the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police – for my non Canadian readers) were called in to escort us all out of the hotel – we were kicked out of our Penthouse!!
After an evening that ends like that, I was happy to be found in bed when trouble went down! Definitely not the first time I’ve missed late night altercations by sleeping through them!
Regardless of the hiccup, it was a fabulous weekend and I think we sent the Bride off to wedded bliss in appropriate fashion!