So far, so good though. No new aches and pains (either than the consistent and expected pain that Sadist inflicts on me), and I haven’t spotted any wrinkles or sprouts of grey – whew.
I spent the weekend celebrating with Family and Friends in Small Town, Ontario and had an absolute blast. We had a big party on Saturday night and had my favourite dishes from a local BBQ joint catered. Unfortunately, it was hotter than hades and more humid than a hot yoga class, so everyone was busy trying to cool off and not look as sweaty as they actually were – easier said than done.
I was utterly spoiled the entire weekend – and loved every second of it! Some highlights:
Pick a Plot – You are a Cat
Remember those Choose your own adventure books? Well Jillian got me one for my birthday, but its from the viewpoint of a cat. We decided to start reading it outloud while we were stuck in traffic on our way out of the city. I was shocked at how non ‘G’ rate the book was! Some notable sections of the plot:
- Our name was Holden Catfield. Awesome
- Holden has a girlfriend, apparently she smells really good
- Holden also has a thing for tabby cats – cue: rather descriptive amorous scene between Holden and Stray Tabby (Umm.. kitty porn?)
- The cat’s family includes an Alcoholic Father and an Adulteress Mother
- Oh, and a Suicidal Teenage girl – who hangs herself (its ok, we saved her!)
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.
Gag Gift #1
Three of my old friends joined me on the Friday evening and had stated in advance that I would have to open my gift as soon as they arrived. The gift appeared to be a bag full of several small packages, the first of which was wet.
Thankfully, the wet packaging was just some condensation that had formed when the parcel was removed from a cooler in the backseat at the end of their drive – Cheese Curds! Hooray. Other items I opened, in order:
- A Picture Frame – Appeared to be identical to one I already have, and contained a fuzzy picture of what I thought was myself and my friend. I noticed what appeared to be a double string of pearls on *my* neck and started questioning where the photo was taken.
- Pearls – More specifically, my pearls. Apparently the frame and necklace were borrowed from my room during a trip to find inspiration for my actual gift.
- Dhoop Sticks – for a fragrance that lingers on and on… These appear to be mini incense sticks that my friends had taken off the hands of a mechanic when he was working on their car.
- A Ring – The actual gift! (Ok, and the cheese curds) A beautiful silver oversized ring that screams ‘Look at my pretty nails!’ while I am incessantly waving them around while I talk.
Gag Gift #2
All three roommates (Tigger, Korean and Eleanor) were able to join me for the weekend – which was awesome. On Saturday afternoon they presented me with a box which contained several items, including:
- Wendy’s Chilli Packets – They must have been hoarding these for awhile. I was thrilled, that stuff is like a drug for me
- Swiss Chalet Sauce Packets – Probably good for my thighs AND my bank account. Why order and pay for a quarter chicken meal from the Dirty Bird when I can just whip up a saucer of the good stuff and get right to the point.
- A Decorative Box – Really had to work on my ‘look like you love it’ face with this one, especially when I found that it contained knee pads and mouth wash.
I was quite happy with my haul of assorted sauces, thanked them all and carried on with whatever I was doing. A few minutes later, while I was sitting on the porch, they presented me with the damn Decorative Box again. This time, however, it had a magical light blue bag inside it that can only mean one thing: TIFFANY JEWELLERY!!
My roommates rule.
Must give another shout out to the stars of the show on Saturday night: Pulled Pork and Brisket.
Not only did my sister Sandy me gift me with an insane Spa Package, but she also brought a bottle of Pink Veuve! Nothing like bubbles to ring in a new personal decade! I also spent most of Sunday Champagne glass in hand, consuming copious amounts of Cupcake Vineyards Prosecco that my Mother had sourced for the weekend.
The final surprise of the night was a framed picture of myself (Ok, I think it might be my sister, but I’ll admit that I’m probably wrong) fast asleep and sucking my thumb while on my first houseboat trip through the Thousand Islands when I was a little girl – everyone at the party had signed around the photo. Of course, the frame included a large Princess embellishment, how fitting.
Mama Bear, you throw one hell of a party.