Granny Panties

Today’s post is brought to you by the colour Beige.

First off, I hate the word Panties – but this isn’t a post about my strange relationship with the English language.  Also, the fact that I’m posting about underwear confirms the fact that I went out and purchased new undies today – seven new undies to be exact! And yes, Mom, I know that my currentl collection of about 60 pair is probably sufficient, but that isn’t the point.

Anywho, I long ago determined that the best colour for a bra that won’t show through anything (provided that it fits well) is beige.  I’m not saying that I only wear beige bras, because that simply isn’t true – my bra collection is almost as ridiculously overstated as my undies.  However, people who think that we can’t see their white bra under their white shirt are just plain wrong. Beige, on the other hand, disappears and all that’s left are the proper attention seekers – your curves – and not the awkward ‘hey! check out my bra’ look that so many unfortunate souls sport.  Also to note, there is a time and place for purposely drawing attention to a bra in a semi see through shirt – but I like to think that the office is neither the time nor the place.

Once I made my discovery of the wonderful power of beige, I had to convince myself to actually jump in feet first and purchase a beige bra.  Why, you ask? Because there is a strong correlation between Beige and Boring.  It is definitely more fun to go bra shopping and try on all the lacy and neon coloured ones, not so much with trying on the t-shirt variety beige ones that are available – it takes the fun out of it.  It would be the equivalent of going to an amusement park and only going on the swings, the activity is the same but you’re missing the best part.

I had a coworker once who was so opposed to wearing beige bras – citing them as matronly – that she resorted to wearing orange ones as a means to better camouflage her undergarments beneath white shirts.  Frankly, her plan mostly worked as the orange hue was infinitely less noticeable than a blatant white outline.  However, the bright orange bra straps that were visible periodically kind of killed her theory.

While I may have overcome my fear of beige in the bra department, the same cannot be said for underwear.  Beige underwear = Granny Panties. AmIright?

The time for change, as they say, is now.

Its no secret that I’m a huge fan of leggings, they are the most comfortable things in the world.  Unfortunately though, black stretchy fabric is not the most opaque thing in the world – especially if you have a Caboose like mine.  I always try to wear black undies and longer tops, but am still very conscious of the fact that any bending over = Look at Nancy’s Panties!  It finally occurred to me the other day (I’m blonde, it takes quite some time for thoughts to bubble up to the surface) that beige underwear may be the solution.

Thus began the internal debate of ‘Should I‘ or ‘Shouldn’t I’? Would opting for beige undies be giving up?  Would it cause me to totally jump past the 30 mark that I’m so nervous about and land right at 70? Would I be wearing – gasp! – Granny Panties?

I reasoned with myself that the vast majority of the time, no one knows what my underwear looks like and that the judging looks I was already picturing were just in my imagination.  Also, I wouldn’t be chucking all my cute lacy and colourful pair in the trash, they would just be relegated to non-legging related outfits.  So I struck off in search of new knickers.  To my delight, La Senza must understand my predicament and had plenty of beige underwear available that still had all the features of my other non Granny Panty collection: Lace, Bows and a variety of different styles.  The best part was I didn’t have to buy a single pair that would go up to my arm pits! Yes, they do make bikini, hip hugger, boy short and other varieties available in beige.  Who knew?

Was searching for more relevent pictures, and instead found this one. You’re welcome.

I selected a mix of beige, black and one combo stripey and flowery pair (I’m still fun and sexy, see!) and headed for the counter.  I was expecting judging or possibly even pitying looks from the pretty blondes at the cash register, but received nothing of the sort – one of the ladies even complimented me on my selection! (although, in hindsight, that was a bit strange)

I’m going to take my new beige undies on a test drive this week, wearing leggings and a short top or possibly even a white dress.  Wish me luck!



Filed under Events in Review, Funny Ha-Ha, How Embarrassing

13 responses to “Granny Panties

  1. Peggy

    Peggy here, read this last night and am still chuckling!

  2. Lol the fact that you chose to post about this made me chuckle! However you have now made me self conscious! While I am always aware of the color of my bra I cant say the same for the color of my panties- and I LOVE leggings! I must have a full length mirror evaluation of my caboose before my next legging outing to be sure my panties are properly concealed…thanks…I think…

    • To be fair – its mostly my friends that would say “you know I can totally see your underwear, right”, and leggings have been my “pant” of choice for a long time now so it’s not like I did something about it right away 😉

      Leggings are the best though, I totally agree!

  3. No Nancy Panty Peeking anymore!
    I like catching a glance at the zebra print boy shorts… nooooo!!!!

  4. Kat

    I just love how refreshingly honest your posts are!! Reading one is like going out for coffee with your bestie. Keep the laughs coming!

    PS I learned this year that photographing beige bra + black top + flash requires a lot of editing after the fact!

  5. Nancy, I’ve just found you and you totally crack me up! I have a friend who does spreadsheets to organise weekends away and we all enjoy giving her grief for it. But an OS holiday – you are awesome. As for underwear, I only wear matching bras and undies and I stick mainly to white, black and beige sets. Unfortunately, beige and sexy are not in overlapping sets.

    • Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed the post! YA the whole Beige + Sexy thing is never going to happen, but I’m at least trying to accept that Beige doesn’t equal giving up!

  6. shallowman2013

    Nancy, greetings from the Amsterdam Shallow Man. I’ve linked to your brilliant post from my blog the amsterdam confessions of a shallow man. Your post is very funny. Keep writing. Greetings from Amsterdam

  7. Pingback: Leggings are NOT pants

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