Monthly Archives: February 2012

Wardrobe Malfunction

While trying to make the most of my one free day in Western Australia, I decided to take myself on a sunny stroll to the markets in Fremantle. I threw on a pretty new sun dress and made for the train. Upon arriving in Fremantle I followed the crowds along a busy street, enjoying the sites and sounds of summer. As I was wandering along, at an otherwise banal moment, I felt the button pop off the back of my dress and the top loosen around me. Panic.

I scrambled to find the button in the crowd and assess the severity of the situation. In the realm of wardrobe malfunctions, this was minor at best – whew. My dress zips up to my mid back and then has an opening (who’s a sexy kitty?) above which a button holds the two triangular pieces coming from the upper sides of the dress.

After surveying the damage I gave myself a mental high five for having decided to wear a strapless bra under my dress. I awkwardly reached around and tucked the now loose pieces under the band of my bra and I was back in business. Without the assistance of my bra I would have had to pin my arms to my side to prevent the top of my dress from billowing and potentially falling off – still manageable but definitely would have put a (sweaty) dent in my plans.

As I wandered down the street, beeming with pride at my innovative outfit troubleshooting, a thought occurred to me: When are you too old to congratulate yourself for having the forethought to wear undergarments?

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This is Gold Class

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Forget my first semi-failed attempt to take myself to the movies solo – I’ve discovered a much better viewing option that I’m almost to selfish to share: Event Cinemas Gold Class.

I’m currently lying in repose in my GIANT recliner, enjoying a beer and waiting for my movie to start. For a ticket price just about double the already expensive movie experience in Oz you gain access to:

• A lounge and bar area for Gold Class patrons only
• Private bathrooms
• A thorough menu complete with a full liquor selection and higher end food choices along with the usual popcorn options
• Food and beverage service delivered to your seat in the theatre at predefined intervals
• A reclining seat that rivals the best Lazy Boy I’ve ever seen, joined only with one other seat and a shared table

As the previews begin, I’m enjoying my beer, excited for the movie and eagerly awaiting the delivery of my pulled pork sliders!

I guess the real question is, if the movie theatre starts to sink – will the Gold Class passengers be saved first?

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I’m Making a Difference

During a particularly low point of my afternoon where I may or may not have been on the verge of tears (thanks a lot hormones), I took a time out and focused my attention on my coffee hoping the caffeine would right some wrongs.  After taking a few long and concentrated sips, I sat back and happened to notice what it said on my mug:


Thanks to my randomly selected corporate kitchen dishware selection, I calmed right down and everything seemed more manageable.

Sometimes you just need a pep talk, even if its from an inanimate object.

 

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Questionable Reality TV: Cricket Edition

I’ve admitted it before, and I’ll do so again now – I have terrible taste in Televised Entertainment.  Any teen angst series, prime time hospital drama, kitschy Sit Com, or HBO masterpiece  can rely on me for dedicated viewership – and unfortunately so can some reality shows.  I have a fondness for anything MTV related and the Bachelor/ette saga, sadly.  While in Australia, my brain has been mercifully spared of the reality drivel I feed it at home – but I’ve stumbled across something much more obscure from an obvious entertainment value perspective.

As it is summer down here in the Southern Hemisphere, media outlets are filled with all things related to summer sports – and here in Oz, that means Cricket.  As a Canadian, the sport of Cricket completely perplexes me.  Ignoring the fact that my knowledge of my home grown sports is loose at best Cricket appears to be a cross between baseball, golf and… maybe lawn bowling?  I really haven’t put much effort into sorting the game out, but it honestly seems unnecessarily overcomplicated – and it can last in the neighbourhood of 5 days.  North Americans clearly don’t have the attention span for that.

Due to my general lack of both knowledge and interest, I managed to have a cricket related program on my TV while I absently roamed the internet one evening for approximately a half hour before I even noticed what I was watching.  I’m using the term ‘Cricket Related Program’ because it wasn’t a Game, a Sports Channel with commentators, or even a How to Learn Cricket in 47 Easy Steps type special – it was a reality TV show. A Cricket based Reality Cricket show.  Cricket Superstars.  Yes, this exists.  According to the omniscient Wikipedia, Cricket Superstar “is an Australian cricket-based reality tv series” where the winner will “receive a rookie-contract with his state and a scholarship to the Centre of Excellence.

Not only does it exist – it comes complete with all the (un)necessary reality TV staples:

  • The attractive, but otherwise totally unassociated, host
  • Frivolous challenges that earn the victor ‘immunity’
  • A panel of judges that vote members off the .. well.. Australia is an Island right?
  • Lots of long, drawn out scenes used to create drama and suspense in an otherwise mundane environment

Amusingly, the few episodes I’ve now caught snippets of (yes, I’ve tuned in more than once – and yes, its because it involves young men) have involved hilarious nonsporting related challenges that the contestants must face on their road to Cricket stardom – which, apparently, is a real thing.  On one episode, the guys had to create pieces of ‘art’ by throwing balls of paint at cricket wickets (I can’t muster up the desire to find out what that even is), which I thought was just about as boring as trying to watch the game itself.  However, the second show I stumbled on showed the contestants being harnessed to a bus loaded with their fellow competitors and having to drag the entire structure several meters.  The bus dragging was actually pretty entertaining, especially while watching the few guys that didn’t subscribed to the low and steady strategy tried popping around and leaping, which appeared to be some perverse sort of mating dance meant to lure the bus towards the finish line.

The Cast. Can't remember why they were at the beach, but its the only reason I kept watching.

While I may have been tricked into watching a few segments here and there – I haven’t made it through a whole show.  Due to the subject matter at hand, the show has an annoying habit of including an actual cricket match prior to the dismissal at the end of the show.  Try as I might, after about 30 seconds my eyes glaze over and I either pass out or change the channel.

I’m guessing you need to have some cricket loving nation’s blood in your veins to understand how this show qualifies as prime time television.

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The Soundtrack To My Life

While watching the Beach Boy’s 50 year anniversary performance on the Grammy’s last night I was reminded that the very first musical purchase I ever made was of a Beach Boys tape, at the York Farmer’s market. Okay, I probably encouraged my parents to but me some Raffi or Anne Murray (remember Hippo In My Tub??) when I was a bit younger, but I really don’t count that. Thinking about my fledgling tape collection of my 6-8 year old self made me realize just how much my musical taste has changed and grown over the years.

How did I get from Beach Boys to Mos Def? Really the steps in between were not all that chronological.  Here is a quick summary of the various music that has defined the stages of my life so far.

Youngster Nancy: Pretty much collected my musical taste from my parents (not that there is anything wrong with that), I remember one of my high school friend’s parents telling me my parents were ‘Bee-boppers’ – whatever that means

  • Beach Boys
  • Roy Orbison
  • Neil Diamond

Early Teenage Nancy: Switching schools, making new friends and trying to discover my own style, also included the years that I attended my first concerts and fell in love with live music

  • Bush X (Well, the X was still there when I saw them in concert, my first concert EVER)
  • Silverchair
  • Smoother (serious fan girl)

Mid and Late Teenage Nancy: Shot up several inches in height and had a ballooning attitude to match – discovered Punk music and the first (And maybe only) “scene” I ever really identified with

  • Anti Flag
  • Strung Out
  • The Bouncing Souls (Possibly ended up going to Jilly’s strip club with members of this band several years later with Cherie…)

Newly Independent Nancy: When I first moved away from home, I still clung to my love of punk and didn’t let go for years, but a friend in Whistler introduced me to some (now embarrassing) hip hop and it completely opened my mind to different generes

  • Swollen Members (Only admitting this in the spirit of full disclosure, well and, I was a pretty obsessed)
  • Deltron 3030 (Thank god I decided to do so research into real hip hop)

Academic and Fresh Graduate Nancy: Almost a mirror image of my teenage self, wholly obsess with a single genre of music and completely invested in absorbing as much music and information as possible

  • Black Star
  • Hieroglyphics
  • De La Soul
  • The Pharcyde
  • A Tribe Called Quest
  • …this list could go on…

Present Day Nancy: I guess I’m still sorting myself out, but I’ve given up clutching to a sole music genre as a means of self identity. One look at my ‘Top 25 Most Played’ list on iTunes reveals an 80’s loving Hip Hop head with possible multiple personalities. I can probably blame a busy life on this, but I no longer have to know absolutely everything about a band/group/artist to just enjoy one track – intense tendencies much? who me?

  • People Under the Stairs (Easily my favourite duo in the realm of Hip Hop)
  • Hall & Oates (I maintain that I should have been much older in the 80s)
  • Random Smattering of Top 40s, Hip Hop, More 80s tracks and.. GASP… dance music

This review really makes me want to track down and post photos of myself from each of these segments of my life – my fashion and appearance has definitely transformed along with my taste in music. I feel like music has really defined my social life and personality through my formative years – and I think it always will, but dammit if I want to rock out to the new Lady Gaga track or mope around listening to some new Indie band I’m more likely to admit it 😉

Back to my original thought – How Awesome was it watching the Beach Boys back together? I even think Maroon 5 and Foster the People managed to do a little justice to their renditions. I wonder if I still have that tape collection.

Did I leave any Nancy’s out that you remember?

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Taking Care of Business

It’s only Wednesday evening here in Oz yet I’ve already clocked more than 40 hours at the office this week. Thankfully, my job normally involves a healthy balance of work and life commitments – which is awesome, because I would honestly not survive on this schedule long term.

The Gym or any exercise for that matter seems completely unfeasible this week

Nutrition Linked closely to item 1, I can not tell you how badly I DONT want salad right now – preference currently being Beer, Salty French fries and “lollies” (aka all variety of sugary treats we are bribing our session participants with)

Human Contact outside of office hours? Why bother. I’m zeroing in on Hermit status this week

Variety some say it’s the spice of life – this week I just say it involves too much unnecessary thinking

Thusly, the 2-3 hours I have to myself this week involve pretty much everything you see here: Tv, Beer and the Room Service I’m waiting for

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At this rate I’m going to arrive home fat, antisocial and lazy. Things are looking up though, was only at the office for ten hours today AND had a massage on the way home!

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Cold Feet

I took a pretty big step yesterday.  Into the shark infested waters of Australia.

Happy to report I made it out alive 🙂

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