As I get older, my opportunity to experience “firsts” seems to be dwindling by the day – partially because I’m well traveled and have lived a busy life, and partially because I’m too chicken shit to try new things 😉 As I’m currently on a solo placement in Australia until the spring, I plan to seek out some firsts to add to my repertoire of experiences and life lessons.
Tonight I took a baby step towards this goal and went out to the movies – by myself. Now, going to a movie by yourself doesn’t seem too wild, but I’d never tried it before so off I went.
There are lots of things I can happily do alone -dining at restaurants, shopping, touristy outings – however, going to a movie alone was more difficult than I’d imagined, and I had knots in my stomach over the silliest things:
- While ordering my ticket, having the agent ask me if I would be sitting with someone and wanted to pick my seat, or if I just wanted to be assigned a seat – and having to admit I was alone
- As the theatre wasn’t yet ready (I was only 10 minutes early, come on!) I had to linger in the hallway nervously eating my popcorn, an pacing
- Knowingly was paranoid, but felt like EVERYONE (in a fairly empty theatre) was watching me
- Felt crazy every time I laughed at the movie – it’s the crazies that laugh on their own right?
- I appeared to be the only person assigned to a seat next to another group – and I was irritatingly paired with a couple that spent the whole movie either talking or making out
- I felt very alone at the end of the movie as everyone filed out of the theatre happily chatting with eachother
The truth is, it wasn’t terrible – but I didn’t enjoy it either. There were actually a few other singles in the theatre but that didn’t do much to alleviate my awkwardness. Considering you spend the majority of a theatre trip in silence, my dislike of the solo experience was a bit surprising to me – I may have to try it again!
Fortunately, I had a delightful realization when I returned to my apartment this evening:
While this may only be my living arrangement for the next 75 days or so, it’s really the first time I’ve ever lived alone.
Ta dah! Another first 🙂