While innocently trying to navigate my way through Pearson airport this morning, my efforts to glide through customs with the aid of my Nexus card were thwarted. I managed to skip by the crazy long lineup, successfully pass the Iris scan (with only two attempts) and head to the last check point in less than five minutes – but the Pearson guards had another idea. When I tried to hand in my receipt from the Nexus kiosk, the guard pointed at a door to the left, handed me my stuff back and sent poor little me off to the Naughty Room (otherwise known as Secondary Screening) all by myself.
Thankfully, the guard in the Naughty Room didn’t seem overly suspicious about me, asked very few questions and only briefly fondled the private things in my carry on – and I was on my way!
This reminded me of a trip a few years ago when Tigger and I were returning from a Cruise. We filled in the customs card stating that I was bringing back zero dollars in merchandise and that Tigger had approximately 20 bucks worth of stuff and a Mickey of CC with him. In hindsight, we should have just said we both had 100 bucks or so on us (even though we didn’t) since the Customs agent clearly didn’t believe we would come home practically empty handed.
Needless to say, off we went to the Naughty Room. As we were both exhausted after a long trip and an extra three hours sitting in the aircraft while they fixed a crackling speaker (really?!), we were in deliriously silly moods. Thankfully we managed to end up with the one airport employee in the universe with a sense of humor – and THANK GOD for that, because shortly after we were greeted by the guard Tigger sputtered out this little gem:
Be careful opening that bag, it might explode.
That’s right. Tigger said ‘explode’, at an airport, in front of a customs agent, in the naughty room.
Thankfully, the agent laughed it off but warned Tigger to be more careful with his language in the future.
In related news, I’ve also never had a cavity search – and minimizing my traveling with Tigger can only help keep that particular Naughty Room
Adventure at bay.