I’m a Loser

…And I mean that in the nicest way possible.  Really, I am a loser – I lose things, mostly cellphones, at an alarming rate.  Actually ‘lose’ maybe isn’t the right word, if you put things down and simply walk away from them its not losing as much as it is forgetting, right?  Not that being forgetful (or absent minded) is much better than just being a loser.

During the past six years, I’ve lost at least as many cellphones – generally when I’ve been over served or had a bad ice cube or two.  Generally the culprit is Taxi cabs and my nasty habit of falling asleep at inappropriate junctures in the evening.  I’ve also twice had a phone graciously returned to me by a cab driver (for a fee…), but the rest have disappeared into the oblivion.  I’ve even tried installing those ‘Lost Phone’ applications once I forayed into the Smartphone domain, but the most that ever did was allow me to watch my lost phone travel around the city for a bit last Halloween (via GPS feed) prior to someone wising up and popping out the battery.

My misfortune with cellphone possession struck again last night – although this time I actually believe that my phone was physically taken from me as opposed to being woefully abandoned.  I threw my two phones (iPhone for fun, Blackberry for work – its as douchey as it sounds) into my only purse pocket –  my Longchamp, while coveted and beautiful, is not super functional – and raced off to the subway as usual.  I hit the ATM on the way to the subway and then picked up some salads before meeting up with Peggy at the cinema.  Neither occasion was cause for me to put my purse down.  After I settled into my theatre seat, I reached for my phones to turn them to silent/off only to find that only my iPhone remained.  Ironically enough, I had actually zipped up my purse for the first time in months as the subway seemed rather crowded.

After retracing my steps in my head, the only option is that someone reached in and grabbed it from the very visible top pocket prior to my feeling the urge to zip up the purse.  I obviously can’t prove this, and due to my track record it’s likely that no one will believe me.  Its also noticeably strange that my iPhone remained intact in the pocket – and I used neither during my journey.  However, as soon as I noticed it was missing I called it (you know, from my other phone) and it went straight to voicemail – in my experience, this is the first indication that the phone is gone forever and some thieving jerk now has a new phone.

Simple? Yes. Practical? No.

The worst part is that I was only given this Blackberry in July, which pretty much confirms everybody’s opinions that I’m unfit to own a cell phone.  Shockingly, after I finally admitted my predicament at the office today (after some coffee, and much avoidance), the only reaction was that I’ll have to wait a day or so for my new device as a few key people are out of the office.  Great, lets see how long this one lasts – I really think I need to start attaching them to my body somehow.

This would totally ruin my hair



Filed under How Embarrassing, Negative Nancy

6 responses to “I’m a Loser

  1. So when you have a decent phone in your case they get lost or stolen.. or in my case destroyed. I’m on my 3rd iphone (my 2g iphone I dropped in the ocean and 4g one, in the kitchen sink). This never happened to any crappy old phone I owned previously.

    • Ugh that would be super annoying as well! The only device I ever dropped in water was my pager into a mop bucket when I worked at a pet store in highschool. Why the hell did I have a pager anyway?

  2. I am sorry to hear about your blackberry.
    My coworker has his first iPhone stolen, it happens.
    Clearly they need to come up with better technology, or you need to create a loss leader insurance product for theft of small electronic devices.

  3. Ummm. Sorry, you lost me. 😛

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