Fashion over Function

I’ve always been a big supporter of the premise ‘Fashion Over Function’, believing that something doesn’t have to be practical to be worthwhile – pain for fashion is supposed to get you brownie points with the style police.  Ok, so I don’t fully believe in this mantra (I live in flats and comfy clothes), but I do generally agree that practicality and trendyness are often mortal enemies.  I’m a huge supporter of belts that serve no purpose, glitter, and painful hairdos (anyone that knows Nancy well, knows of the back combing torture her hair is subjected to on near constant basis).  I do, however, draw the line at open toed shoes in the winter, Corsets that restrict breathing and crinoline use outside of party dresses and Halloween costumes.

This past weekend while shopping in Upstate New York with my Mother and her friends, I happened upon a new ‘fashionable’ trend that has me just baffled.  Behold, the Designer Series TAMPON:


Yes, you read that right.  Designer. Series. Tampon.  I’ll give that a minute to sink in .

Ok, so lets analyze what’s happening here.  A feminine ‘hygiene’ product, that is most often seen hiding in the corner of women’s purses and under bathroom sinks, prior to performing its given function and being unceremoniously tossed or flushed is now a fashionable accessory?  Well, maybe that’s not the idea.  Perhaps the goal is to make that stashed away necessity just slightly less tacky?

I took to the internet to investigate and found the following sound bite: “Since breaking category norms has been the hallmark of U by Kotex, the Designer Series is no exception. High-contrast colors and vibrant patterns envelope each package and reflect individual fashion trends” (popsoap) Individual fashion trends eh?  The only Designer variety available in the Tampon line is called Punk Glam and last time I checked, that particular fashion trend doesn’t reflect my individual taste at all.  I guess I have the individual choice to select this new Punk Glam variety, that includes neatly wrapped pink and black packages, over the regular more rainbow variety option.  Such are the liberties of the Modern Age.

I have to give it to Kotex though, they are definitely trying new things and their ‘I love my Period’ ads still make me giggle.  To be honest, kudos to them for having the guts to try to stand out in aisle that’s usually sees the Free with Purchase or the Anti-slip Grip (umm… eww.) as its biggest selling feature.



Filed under Funny Ha-Ha, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

4 responses to “Fashion over Function

  1. I am intrigued by the black ones.

  2. Don’t be too intrigued, its just the applicator that’s black – the inside is exactly what you’d normally find. The black really would keep you guessing though eh?

  3. Designer series! Ha! You should buy some just so you have the classiest tampons available in case a friend asks to borrow one.

  4. That’s EXACTLY why I picked up two boxes 😉

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