Monthly Archives: August 2011

Mexico Prep Time

In order to get organized for our upcoming trip to Cancun (T-3), I went over to Depot’s apartment last night so we could discuss details and she could feed me.  I arrived sporting two lovely bottles of Ontario Whites and Depot shockingly questioned the need for two bottles – hello, have you met either of us?  One bottle of wine each on a Tuesday is pretty par for the course. 

We enjoyed a lovely dinner prepared by her massive body guard-esque boyfriend, and started to get down to the details.  What do we need to pack?

  • Sunscreen.  Lots of it.  Hopefully Depot won’t come home with half of her skin missing this time.
  • Zinc, for Depot’s nose.  Poor tortured burnt to crispy hell, peeled and burnt again nose.
  • Polysporin.  Because, you know, anyone could fall down the stairs backwards and end up with mysterious ball shaped burn marks, despite the fact that the stairs aren’t carpeted.  We need to be prepared for curious injuries.
  • Books & Magazines.  Regardless of the fact that I read approximately two articles in my Toronto Life magazine last time we hit Cancun, we’ll still travel armed with reading material.
  • Sunglasses.  14 pairs between us.  Why not.
  • Sans Pants.  While this technically isn’t an item ‘to pack’ it’s worth noting that this is definitely a No Pants vacation!

    Sans Pants!

We then made a quick trip to Hell a.k.a. the Rogers store, to see if we could get any Communication advice for our trip.  When we reached the counter, I told Depot I’d handle this and launched into our problem:

Okay, so we’re going to Mexico for a week on Saturday.  Just the two of us.  We are a bit spazzy and are worried about losing track of each other on the resort and in the nightclubs, so we want to be able to text while we’re down there.  Problem is, we both also have a tendency to lose our phones, so we need to use crappy back ups.  Are there any pay-as-you-go plans for Morons?”

Think of the Tan Lines!

The Rogers guy was actually surprisingly helpful, I think he pitied us. After much discussion though, I think we’ve decided to put on our Big Girl Panties and just try to stick together – and assign meeting places for ‘just in case’. 

We returned back to Depot’s apartment intending to get back on task, but instead worked our way through both bottles of wine, had some Laundry lessons, giggled a lot on the balcony, and planned a fake bachelorette for Depot on our trip.  Wish us luck, we might need it!

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Dirty Madlibs

Ashbridge's Bay Boardwalk

After a lovely dinner on the town, I went for a walk on the Beach Boardwalk last night with Jessica and Tigger.  We were reminiscing about how the Boardwalk used to seem so hip and downtown to us, and we used to drive all the way from our ‘burb to wander along the beach and get up to no good.  Somehow this lead to a conversation of other inappropriate things we had gotten up too has kids, and whether or not we’d ever fessed up to our parents.  Luckily, I enjoy a great relationship with both of my parents and have mostly (Hi Mom!) admitted to the content of my troublemaking:

  • Remember how I told you that I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and there was a spider on the wall and I kicked it, and that’s how the hole ended up in my shower wall?  Actually Kimberly got drunk and passed out – it was her head that caused that hole.  This was Win/Win, I didn’t get in trouble, and you got to complete a much needed renovation!
  • Remember how I told you both that we were studying handwriting in class and I would need copies of both of your signatures?  Never trust a child, if you turned the paper over you would realize you had been signing away your acknowledgment of my failed term paper.
  • I didn’t go to class more than 50% of the time in highschool… and most of University.  I have my BBA now, and a solid career,  so drop it.

While joking about these old stories we somehow stumbled across the memory of MadLibs – remember that silly yet hilarious word game where you have to fill in a series of words that substitute for blanks in a short story?  As kids you generally try to pick verbs, nouns and adjectives that will end up making the story very suggestive or downright lewd, because that’s so much more fun right?  Being the technical whiz that I am I hopped on my iPhone and googled ‘Dirty Mad Libs’- lo and behold, I find the genius of dirtymadlibs.com.

 

As we continued our saunter along the Boardwalk, I prompted both Jessica and Tigger for Comparative Adjectives, Pieces of Furniture and Body Parts.  Our end result, which I read aloud despite the many passers-by, had us in complete stitches.  Some highlights from the Nancy, Jessica and Tigger Madlib titled ‘Our First Time’:

  • “We had porkedeachother”

    Schpants

  • “He sniffed me on his park bench
  • “I felt through his flip flop and started rubbing his boob
  • “I ripped off his scarf and schpants”

Sometimes reminiscing just makes you want to be a kid again 🙂

 

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Little Ms. Chatterbox Strikes Again!

Two of my girlfriends from highschool and I all celebrate our birthday in the summer, and we have a tradition of having one birthday dinner as a group to celebrate.  Last night was our 2011 scheduled birthday dinner and I was excited to catch up with my friends.  Cherie is newly engaged and Bianca is already married, we are starting to sound like real adults!  Since Cherie lives in the west end of the city and both B and I work downtown, we decided to carpool out together so we had more time to catch up. 

 Knowing that Bianca and her Husband Tempy are already married and settled into their new home with their three pets, its inevitable that a happy announcement would eventually be on its way.  When I leapt into the car I immediately eyed B’s belly, nope no sign there!  Still, I didn’t want to ruin any ‘surprise’ planned so I spent the next HOUR (worst Toronto traffic ever) chatting up a storm and carefully only asking Bianca about her Husband, her Family and her Pets, never anything about her. 

When we finally got to the restaurant, we were a bit early so Cherie told us to grab a table on the patio.  As we were waiting for our table, Bianca and I sidled up to the bar to grab a drink.  Well, I grabbed a Beer and Bianca perused the menu.  Before she was able to order, we were led to our table and got lost in drooling over the menu.  Finally the waitress showed up and Bianca ordered a Perrier.  Curious.  I decided to sail right past that and continued talking poor B’s ear off about anything and everything that came to mind – thankfully she’s known me a lifetime and expects this from me regardless.

I have to admit, now that I have a pile of friends that have Mothered offspring, its hard not to just ruin everything and say ‘You’re Pregnant!!’  I managed to contain myself until Cherie arrived  – with her Pint already sitting on the table as she’d called ahead to order (typical behaviour expected from all three of us).  Thankfully, Bianca only waited for the most basic greetings were over to blurt out her exciting news, coupled with the fact that her chest has already increased one cup size! Bravo! 

So Cherie is getting married, Bianca already is and is now planning the next generation of trouble makers, and I bought a house.. with my two husbands.  None of this is shocking 🙂

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I would say No

As the end of Summer is drawing to a close (NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!) it’s the time of year that the interns at my office have their last few weeks before bidding us adieu and returning to their respective campuses to imbibe in Frosh week fun.  In order to celebrate the end of summer with them, and convince them that working is just as fun as partying at University (False. False. False.), we take all the Interns and their Coaches – including Coach Nancy – out for an evening of fun an frivolity starting off at Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament.

For those of you that have never experienced the wonder of Medieval Times, I highly suggest checking it out.  Why, you ask? Because you get to drink beer, eat with your hands, call your server a Wench and hoot and holler at an imaginary competition.  Its all very corny.  I also suspect that the staff members are amongst the most awkward and nerdy people in their real lives, and relish their jobs as the only time they can be their true selves. Judgemental Nancy aside, they get really into their roles.  Makes me giggle.

Anywho, prior to be lead into the arena for dinner, donned with a crown matching the colour of your knight for the evening, there is a bit of a spectacle in the gathering room.  Normally the King and Queen come out and are announced, the general tone of the evening is set, and you get a bit of ‘background’ on the Medieval community you are now the Lords and Ladys of.  This is also a great time to pose for group photos with your brand new crowns and souvenir flashing cups! 

On our night out, we were treated to a special show in the gathering room, with two people being invited up to the stage with the King and Queen.  I wasn’t paying too much attention, because I was focused on ordering my beer (they had Steam Whistle!! Win!), but I heard a sudden gasp in the crowd and whipped around just in time to witness a young man down on one knee, with a ring.  WWwwhhhhaaaaatttt? Proposing at Medieval Times?  I. Would. Die. And then say No.   However, the Young Lady on the stage practically squealed with excitement before shouting yes, pulling her man up from his knees and leaping into his awaiting arms.  W. T. F.? It takes all kinds, folks.

The young couple looked like they were on cloud nine, wearing their Red crowns as they were lead into the Arena.  We were lucky enough (..sarcasm? I’m not even sure) to be sitting in the same section as the pair, so we got to watch them enjoy their first meal together as an Engaged couple.  I couldn’t wipe the confused look off my face, but eventually just settled into ignoring them and wondering if my standards are possibly too high? Nope, Medieval Times Proposals are a dealbreaker for me, 100%.

Funnily enough, the couple only received a small reception from the crowd when they were announced by the King while, after some initial confusion about what a group of interns was, we received some mighty cheering.  I guess I’m not the only one in the crowd who would have said No.

Also a NO

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Filed under Awk-ward, Events in Review, Funny Ha-Ha, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

Party like its 1981

In honour of Jillian’s 30th birthday, we partied it up 80’s style in a big way on Saturday night.  I’ve never been one to balk at a costume opportunity, so I spent that few weeks prior gathering my Neons, Metallics, Shoulder Pads, and as many Pearl Necklaces as possible.  Some of this was easier said than done, as I still have many boxes yet to be unpacked – and still am slightly clueless about where I’ve placed items that have already found their new homes.  I think the resulting outfit was a win!

 

Not Pictured:

  • Single pink Legwarmer
  • Blue Eye shadow
  • Decent sized Shoulder Pads
  • Pink Metallic Pointy Toed Slingbacks (Yup, those were already in my collection)
  • Obnoxious Flowery mini dress
  • Glitter, lots and lots of Glitter

I think I managed to pull off a cross between Blossom and Madonna – if I’d found my black bedazzled driving gloves and added some lace arm bands, it would have screamed Madonna.  Jillian pulled off a Neon jazzercise-esque ensemble which include a sheer pink long sleeved dress, blue leggings and a yellow skirt.  We were quite the pair, and clearly the costume winners of the night (no surprise there!).

The evening was a smashing good time, which left me with a smashing headache and a distinctly vacant expression all day Sunday.  I’m still suffering in my claves from standing around in heels – and stumbling down College Street swearing at cab drivers that wouldn’t take credit payment.  Was very Déjà vu from an 80’s Prom Bachelorette I went to years ago – gotta love raging around the streets of TO with teased hair looking like a crazed (but oddly fashionable) homeless woman.  My hair may never be the same again, I’ve hidden the rat’s nest left behind from all the backcombing in a bun for the last two days.  I’m pretty sure masking the problem with more pins and hairspray is likely only making things worse.

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Summertime

20110819-102113.jpg

Beautiful night at the Ex. Nancy and Pickering enjoying a swing 🙂

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Vacationing

I’m a bit of an obsessive vacationer.  Who isn’t though, right?  I spend a huge amount of my waking hours planning and researching upcoming vacations, reviewing photos from vacations past, and carefully totting up how best to allot my vacation days in the coming year.  Today alone of I’ve checked prices for a Vegas trip I’m taking in October, tried to find the best flights for an upcoming work trip (staring longingly at the Business Class fare), and researched the hell out of a Baltic cruise the Francis family will be taking next May.  Along with the Baltic adventure, I’m trying to figure out if I can also fit in a visit with Brown Squirrel in Thailand, an Oktoberfest mission with my friend Peanut in the fall and at least one sunny destination with Tigger into my 2012 calendar.  It’s a time consuming and expensive habit.

Due to my seemingly constant vacationing I get a lot of flak at work for ‘never being in the office’, which I find very strange – I get the same vacation days as everyone else, right? I think my exceptional planning skills help me to use each vacation to the absolute maximum. Which is exactly what vacation days are for in my opinion.

Likely the most obnoxious part of my love of vacationing would be that use these trips as milestone markers, so I refer to past trips constantly:

  • No, Tigger, that was three cruises ago
  • I haven’t worn that outfit since the second Cancun trip
  • I hate that photo, I was totally in my Spain weight
  • My sunglasses are as old as our last trip to Hawaii

Why use seasons or years to mark the passing of time?  I pretty much always have some variety of Vacation countdown on the go and relish watching the numbers slide down the scale.

 16 days until Nancy and Depot take on Cancun part Deux!! This time sans supervision, should be interesting.

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