Little Miss Chatterbox, at Your Service

I’m a fast talker at the best of time.  I also mumble – which is a terrible combination.  In my defence, I understand myself just fine, why can’t anyone else? Actually, Tigger understands me perfectly, but I think that’s because we’ve developed our own language that relies heavily on body language and facial expression – not so much words.  Needless to say, if I’m nervous or uncomfortable, my rate of speech skyrockets and the sheer amount of content I can cover is dumbfounding. 

 I was at an event the other night and spied a tall, dark and handsome type chatting with a friend of mine, so I slowly sidled up and joined in on the conversation. Problem is, since I thought he was cute, and appeared to be shy, it wasn’t really a conversation anymore as it was me continuously talking at him.  I only allow for a few seconds of silence before barrelling into a new topic, arms flailing while trying to keep up with the appropriate gestures.  Tigger would have been beside himself, as I had to stop about 20 times to catch my breath – an act that he thinks I carry out to emphasize a point, when really I’ve just talked myself breathless.

In a fifteen minute ‘conversation’ I managed to cover the following topics:

  •  My entire Career, including my time spent in India and being trapped in England last year during the Icelandic Volcano episode
  • My complete history with the United Way, with a long segue into my feelings about a particular event
  • My upcoming move, including how much I hate Vertica Resident Services
  • My complete friendship history with the one person we have in common
  • Bank Holidays

Now, I should mention there were two other people in this conversation that both know me, so they were helping to carry forward the discussion topics.  I wasn’t purposely steering the conversation, but I was the largest common denominator and clearly the biggest mouth in the group.

Mr. Handsome did manage to get a few words in, and I definitely confirmed he is either the Strong, silent type or just a wee bit shy.  So pretty much, we’re polar opposites.  I always wonder how that type of person processes someone like me.  Do I appear to be having some sort of seizure? Maybe I come across as incredibly confident and just have a lot to say) unlikely! I probably just appear to be a bit of a spaz and a Chatterbox, guess that’s not so bad.  He actually appeared to be genuinely interested in chatting (er.. listening) but I was preoccupied with filling the airwaves with my baritone chitchat.  

 A similar situation happened last night when I was talking on the phone with Tigger.  While standing outside of a restaurant, an extremely good looking man walked by with quite possibly the cutest puppy I’ve ever seen.  I’m sure I said something along the lines of ‘OMGTHATSTHECUTESTPUPPYIVEEVERSEEN’ and then hung up the phone.  I asked if could say hello to his dog, and then barrelled forward into many statements about the cuteness of this puppy, what I know about the breed, friends that have a similar dog, and finally asking him how he manages to get anywhere with people like me stopping him all the time?   I managed to accidentally answer a call from Korean during this time, and hang up on him as well!

It was only after I’d said goodbye and hustled back into the restaurant that I processed the fact that they very cute Dog Owner was actually being very friendly, and didn’t seem thrown at all by my spazzy approach to him and his pup.  I didn’t even introduce myself or ask his name, but I did get the pups name, age & breed.  Jesus.

Mastiff

You'd hang up on people too if you saw this little Miss!

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1 Comment

Filed under Awk-ward, How Embarrassing, Pictures Tell a Thousand Words

One response to “Little Miss Chatterbox, at Your Service

  1. OMG, I can only imagine how many seriously deep inhales you took while making a very important point… or three all at once!

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